Victory

I will feel victorious when I overcome my mental illness and live my life without limitations. I will be able to be a healthy member of society and not be afraid of tomorrow, the present, or the past. I will be able to pick myself up when I fall, and stitch up my wounds, and wipe my own tears, and dust myself off, and straighten my clothes, and put on a smile. My life will be like a completed puzzle, everything seamless and perfect. But I am not yet at the point of victory. My world has been plunged into complete darkness and I have yet to find a single ray of light. I have lived like the uphills were mountains and the downhills were a cliff for a third suicidal attempt. I have lived through a tidal wave of anti-depressants and anti-anxietities. I feel like I am walking through an infinite, barren dessert, chasing a hallucination of an oasis. I have been shoved into a deep, dark well. Every day I look up to see the sunlight spilling in, or the starlight twinkling in the distance. Every day I think that freedom is so close, yet so far. Every day I try to climb up the rocks, but a foot slips, or a rock breaks, and I go tumbling back down. I've hit rock bottom and Illness has brought a drill with it, and Misery has one too. I refuse to live like this any longer. I refuse to be the slave of Illness and Misery. I refuse to crumble under the weight of Depression. I refuse to shake and fall from the earthquake that is anxiety. I refuse to believe the lies that I have been told. I refuse to believe that I am defined by my past, present, or future. Until I reach that utopia of peace, I will not go gentle into that good night. I will rage, rage against the light. I will fight the good fight. I will find the strength to move mountains. I will find the light to fuel a thousand suns. I will find the hope to fill thousands of hearts. I will find the courage to fight all my demons. But all I have is a speck of faith. But with that faith, I can crush mountains and tame seas, and even overcome Illness and Misery. With that faith I will ride through the downs only to gain momentum to skyrocket to the top. But most of all, I will do one thing with that faith. I will be victorious.

Author's Note

What do you think? All critique welcome.

Reviews

[Rye]

Depression is a hard thing to defeat, I like this gives faith at the end, that is wonderful.