the subtle scent of patchouli
returns me to languid summer days
reminding me of the ways
the sun shimmered
through my hair.
my bright red chevy (bella)
held pieces of passion
in her brazen cherry paint.
she hugged those curves
the way i held the world.
the sounds of the grateful dead
wafted through camellia-essenced air…
and i found pieces of my soul there.
there in that delicate delirium between
woman
and child
(that beautiful balance between
latent
and wild)
bob marley and phish
were my drugs of preference
(i was high on the essence
and heat of the sun)
as it bounced off bella
and reminded me
(i am still so young).
that ibanez guitar
(so beautiful and blue)
taught my fingers how to feel
and my heart how to hear
-the music in my soul-
was so authentic and clear.
if i could return to those
hazy, lazy
liquid summer days...
i would taste the deliciousness
of my lovely, naive smile.
and i could believe in
the sunshine
for just... a little... while.
I love the alliteration of the title, and I can smell it too. What a perfect point of entry.
In fact, this poem is packed with sensory detail. You have fully engaged me in this fantastic piece from beginning to end. You are also able to tread away from an overly sentimental wistfulness for the innocent past. Instead, this poem matches you in your desire (mentioned in your bio) It is as true as your blue Ibanez guitar.
Music can be very magical to the soul in certain moments of life... and the song always remembers when... this too is just a s magical as any song that brings me sweet memories... it has been a while since i went into you archives... how sweet it is to give my heart a taste again of pure bliss.
I knew you there, walking under moonlight in summers soft breeze. You were possibility and I was motivation. We made promises time would steal. We were both sincere and in love with life.
Another addition to my favorites. Optimistic without losing credibility. So natural and unassuming. In my head, this conjures refrains from Don Henley's "Boys of Summer" and Incubus' "Earth to Bella". I, too, want to "believe in the sunshine for just a little while", and carry a piece of it to brighten gloomy days.
Kara,
Very nice poem. Tight and concise, even in the length that it is. But I wonder why you choose to not capitalize the first letter of each "sentence", so to say, since you do use a period? That might make it easier to read... the reader does need help sometimes and cannot always find their own way. I like that you choose to punctuate this.
Also bella is name of car, so you could capitalize it, to make it easier to follow... that it is a name.
In general, nice, but didnt make the winning spot in "The Other Herald's Summer Writing Contest". Thanks for your patience. We had tons and tons of submissions for this contest, and we read/considered every one. Feel free to submit in the future, to our contests on Writerscafe.org, or by email to [email protected]. If you submit there, please do so as text in the email, and include basic information, i.e. name as you wish it to appear if published, short bio, and mailing address (for free copies, which are payment in every case). TOH is a monthly publication of literary works, writing contests, submissions opportunities, columns, articles of interest to writers, and much more. Check us out any time on www.tfrice.etsy.com where there are some back issues available (to buy, or to look at anyways).
Most of all, be encouraged to "write on" and know your submission was appreciated much.
Love it .....
A throwback piece...
Right up my alley...patchouli being my favorite scent...and Marley was the "man' in so many ways.
This has all the makings of a "beat era"....spoken word joint...the flow andnuances are perfect to lay us into a cozy nostalgic state...Luv it !!
i honestly felt like I was there... in that summer... feeling just as free and rather happy as you once did. you've painted such a beautiful picture with your words.
there in that delicate delirium between
woman
and child
(that beautiful balance between
latent
and wild)
bob marley and phish
were my drugs of preference
(i was high on the essence
and heat of the sun)
as it bounced off bella
and reminded me
(i am still so young).
your writing is always so powerful..... this was exquisite.
wow... this is stunning, I really loved how you paint such a lovely picture! i esp. loved the line- "The delicate delirium between woman and child..." how lovely
I am resolved to never be content with the lives of "quiet desperation" which so many of us lead, to continuously challenge myself, and forever walk in Beauty.
I like pandas. I like writing poe.. more..