The Crush

I can not help but have this crush 

The thought of him just gets me stuck 

The touch of your hand, The tone of your skin 

I get these butterflies from deep, deep within.

Just one glance at me is all I need

To have a great day, to be filled with such glee

The scent of you as you pass on by,

Gives me a rush, A special kind of high.

A day without you, is like a day without sun

Ya know ? That feeling as if your day had never begun.

The waves of your hair, The look of your stare.

With you in my life I shall never have a care

I  just want you to be mine

My knight in shining armor

With you by my side ill forever be that much more stronger <3

Reviews

[TLK]

The rhyme scheme needs a bit of work. Crush does not rhyme well with stuck, or need with glee. I'm not sure, but it seems that at the end 'armor' should rhyme with 'stronger'...? If not, then the rhyme scheme disappears, which I can't see a reason for.

[David]

That was beautiful kido :P great job!

[mark]

great write :) very sweet poem.
i enjoyed the rhyming scheme to it.
you are a great writer keep up the good work.
very enjoyful read :) great words.

[Sarah Lynn]

Thank you !! (:

[mark]

your welcome :)

[Trace]

Very sweet and endearing. I hope you read this to that special someone, then showed him you meant it. Trace

[Sarah Lynn]

Thank you so much ! (:

[Caradoc]

This is a cute little love poem.

You have some pretty good descriptions. Good word choice. The butterflies line is something many have experienced and I think you captured the feeling of a crush well. I also noticed you're big on scent. The last few sensual/erotic poems I've read by you have all featured scent as a component of the attraction. Appropriate, as scent is a not so small factor in attraction; pheromones and all.

I did noticed one tiny mistake, at least I think it is, with titles you can never be sure. You're missing the "e" at the end of "The" in your title.

Overall though the poem was well crafted and relatable. Good job.

-Caradoc

[Sarah Lynn]

Thank you for such a nice review ! Thank you also for telling me about the title , knowing myself it honestly would have taken me forever to figure out ! haha

[Caradoc]

You're welcome, on both counts. :)