A Man...Nobody's toy

I cried tonight and for the first time it felt right

For I shed the tears of a man not those of a boy

Even as I recalled the times I was another's toy

 

Yet I'm still haunted by the years

In which I suppressed these fears

That survive in my present and past

These memories I've buried so deep

Still confront me in my sleep

And now I know that they will last

 

But who is to blame for all my torment and shame

Were these tears caused by a man or another innocent boy

Either way I was just a toy

 

I'm the only one who missed out

Because I was too frightened to stand and shout

Taught to trap this all inside

Blame no one else for your flaws

Following this unwritten law

Only taught me how to hide

 

But as I emerge from the shadows tonight

It feels far more than right

As I step into the light...A Man

Not to forget that shy little boy

Or any longer suppress those times

But to be Nobody's toy

 

I vow to try to defeat

The perpetuation that flows so deep

In the darkness of humanity

But I refuse to direct my rage toward

The one who held that evil sword

That would strip me of my own sanity

 

Instead I emerge from the shadows tonight

Promising to make this right

Basking in the light...A Man

Not forgetting that shy little boy

But to be Nobody's Toy

 

 

Reviews

[Jacqueline]

My God...so much conviction in your words; there's strength behind the obvious vulnerable soul who placed past pain into words. No shame at all in releasing hurt and banishing away things that haunt. You drew me into your world and made me feel your emotions. Very good read.