letter to luka.

guys...dating..."friends with benefits"...

I should've never fallen for you. I was stupid to believe that anything would ever work out between us. I imagined that everything was different this time, that you actually felt something for me. I imagined those hugs as meaningful, now I know they were only a selfish debt to pay. You make a fool out of me, I put myself on the line over and over only to be shot down, and used, and confused, and disappointed. I'm so sick of it. My heart still aches for you. You're always my exception: my level - headedness turns to dust when I think of you, you bring out the worst in me, primitive, desperate needy for you love to hold onto. You take what you want and then leave me alone, grasping for the love I so desire, and once thought I deserved. I don't know anymore. You make me doubt, my rock solid foundation crumbles with every lie, dripping form your sugar coated lips. I thought you were so nice, and that you actually cared. Now it seems those tender moments were cruel pawns in your world of self - advancement. I saw dark narcissism in you. A flash so quick that maybe I was blinded. I worry that I don't know good or bad anymore, because of you. You used me. I'm just another option in a sea of girls. I see now that I'm just as desperate and obnoxious as the others. So I'm leaving you. Not that there's anything to leave; you ignore me. You have whoever you please, I gasp, alone in bed again. I won't be at your beck and call anymore. I won't doubt myself and turn me into something i'm not. I won't live for those fleeting moments of joy anymore. You won't drive a stake between me and my loved ones. when you knock at my door, no one will answer. It might not mean much to you, but just remember that there's one less girl to fall for your stupid games. I may never get the happy ending, and you can watch me unravel and sneer, but always remember that I deserve better.

Luka, I'm gone.

Author's Note

luka = daniel.

Reviews

[Sukylola]

this so moving and heart-wrenching. i hope i never have to experience a relationship like this, but you expressed the emotions REALLY well!!!

[Sasha]

Thank you very much :)