Weather

Another piece which is one of my favourite.

Thursday morning! The weather is fine with my words.
Yesterday, the muses hung up on my imagination.
My little fade lines were out of focus. So I caught  the train of lost metaphors,
I found every single line incomplete; and my sad thoughts were evaporated.
 Get off from the train you ticket less traveller! The simile said to me,
You missed the train of thoughts, you’re all out now.
I played the violin with the vibes now; I have to be voiceless,
Till, my thoughts and muses return. This is the world alike.
Butterfly stuck in between the lips, Should I kiss or not.
`` I come from there and remember……..
    I have learned and dismantled all the words
    To construct a single one: Home.’’
I imagine and dream of that moon buried in the lost grave.
Yes, I am talking about the first language of all, survived from the waves.

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

Interesting piece. Reads as a monologue almost. What can I say? I am not a wordy poet but I appreciate your need to explicate and embellish and utilize grammatically correct grammar. If I were to modify one line it would be yesterday's muses rather than yesterday the muses.

[sayed Mudasir Ali]

I would like to give you a warm hug for stoping by , I will not fight with you here and will check my sources as well so that I can reach the conlcusion for this poem. I am sure if it is required I will change it and I can never forget your kindness and support here...

[MsJewel]

Love the imagery in this one Sayed and your use of metaphors. Just a thought - it may flow a little smoother if you break up some of the lines. A wonderful poem and a delight to read!
:) Julie

[Pryde Foltz]

A whimsical meta-write that took a lovely turn to the winsome at the end. Well done, Sayed.

[sayed Mudasir Ali]

How sweet of you Pryde ? I am overwhelmed by your review and just wish me luck so that I can prove I am little poet in a small world. You know Pryde ; What I really like about your poetry is that you can many things in just few lines.

[Pryde Foltz]

Thank you, Sayed, and I wish you a world full of blessing.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Some very interesting choices in this piece. I like a lot of the imagery -- "muses (hanged upon) my imagination" and "Get off from the train(,) you ticketless traveller". I also felt as though there was a lot going on between the lines, metaphorically. I particularly liked the last two lines. A few things could clean this up a little--perhaps shortening the lines, a little edit for grammer and form, but overall, I enjoyed the read.

[sayed Mudasir Ali]

Yes, you are right ! I have to complete it.I am grateful to you for your lovely review.