I'm sorry, Dad.

A look into my past and relationship with my father, it's a touchy subject and one of my biggest motivations behind my work.

I was taught that, "sorry," was just a word.
You raised me to know what's wrong and right.
I was brought up right with morals for sure.
I wanted your respect but lost sight...

From age twelve to seventeen, I was wild.
Big sis helped me walk outside the lines.
Grew up too fast, didn't like being a child.
My actions took a huge toll over time.

And I broke his heart, I swear I did.
I was a criminal, a deviant, a liar.
Self harm, hospitalizations, just a kid.
But I was hurting, couldn't snuff the fire.

Trust is the hardest to earn.
Once broken, it's not the same.
When it's gone, you'll learn.
The worst part, you're to blame.

I always hoped for the rage,
Instead of being ashamed.
Anger is a irrational surface stage,
Dismay was deeper, calm, tame.

I wanted to be like my dad,
My hero, my teacher, so wise.
I didn't appreciate what I had.
When I see him, now I cry.

The plate was shattered.
And it'll never be like before.
Despite the relationship being tattered.
I still have a fire in my core.

I love you Dad, both our hearts ache.
I know I do have a lot to prove.
These scars, I couldn't ever fake.
I miss us, the father I once knew.