Unfortunate Newcomer

I was sitting outside on the roof of my car watching the clouds above. The sun was setting so it gave the clouds the most beautiful pink glow and made the sky look lavender. I loved the sky, it amazed me at how endless it was yet at some point ended. And beyond that, the universe, filled with nothing but stars and planets and all the space you could imagine. Thinking about it put me in complete awe. I was interrupted by the sound of a truck driving towards my direction. I looked over and saw it was a moving truck. It turned onto my street and stopped just a few houses away from my own.

The house had been for sale for quite some time, I didn't think it would have ever been sold. I saw some people get out but I couldn't tell who it was. I watched as the movers unload stuff from the truck and into the house. After a little while I decided to go inside to take a shower.

Once done I sat on the couch and thought. I want to do something to make them feel welcomed but what should I do? An idea struck my brain after a few minutes. I decided to make some brownies. Seeing it was already going on midnight I decided it would be best to do it tomorrow so I went to bed.

The next morning I woke up early and got to baking. Making my famous triple fudge nut brownies- chocolate brownies with chocolate chips inside along with pecans and topped with a smooth white chocolate frosting. After making the batter and putting it into a pan I put it into the oven and went to get ready. If I was going to introduce myself I wanted to make a good impression. I put on some light makeup and a nice top along with some jeans and sandals. Seeing I still had some time before the brownies were done I sat at my computer and logged onto my Facebook.

I really shouldn’t have been doing it but I couldn't help myself. I went to Matthew's page to see if he had posted anything recently. As usual there was nothing new posted. I sighed and logged off then went to the kitchen.

The brownies finished not to long after so I took them out, cut them into even squares, and put them on one of my good plates and wrapped it with plastic wrap. For good measure I wrapped a baby pink bow around it.

Satisfied with the welcoming gift, I left my house and started the short distance to the new neighbors. I knocked on the door and waited patiently for somebody to open the door.

A guy who looked to be about twenty-two opened the door.

"Hello." I suddenly felt very nervous. I pushed a stray strand of hair out of my eyes and shyly replied.

"Hi, I live just a few houses down and saw that you moved in last night so I made you these." I handed him the brownies.

"They're triple fudge nut brownies. Are you allergic to nuts? I probably should've asked before I made anything. You probably think I'm kind of strange for coming over here, not knowing you and all, but, um, welcome to the neighborhood."

"In all honesty I find it very sweet that you made me brownies. As far as the nervous rambling, I find that very adorable." I turned my face from him as my face reddened, trying to hide my embarrassment and shy smile. "I'm Kyle, by the way." He extended his hand.

"Noel." I shook his hand.

"Do you want to come in? You can meet my roommate."

"Thank you but I have to decline. Maybe another time?"

"Yeah for sure. Maybe Saturday? Brandon, my roommate, is having his family along with mine over for a little housewarming party, you should come by."

"I'll see what I can do. What time should I come over?"

"Six-thirty would be good. Do you mind waiting just a moment?" Nodding my head no, he turned around and walked away. Kyle returned just a moment later with a piece of paper and a pen in his hand. "Do you mind if I get your number in case anything changes?" He smirked at me. I rolled my eyes with a little laugh but complied.

"Incase you can't reach me on my cell, my house is four houses down on the right." I smiled and walked down the driveway and to my house. I had barely walked through the door when my phone buzzed. It was a text from an unknown number.

"These brownies are amazing, you should differently bring more Saturday :)." As soon as I saw the mention of brownies I knew it was from Kyle.

    "I'll see what I can do ;)" Maybe something will spark between Kyle and I and my mind will cease to think about Matthew. Hey, a girl can hope right?

Saturday night came quickly, though I should've expected it considering I was invited only  two days prior. But still, I would've liked a little more time to prepare considering I was trying to impress Kyle. But, this would have to do.

I put on the same makeup I used when I first introduced myself but made it slightly darker this time. Going with a lavender, V-neck blouse and some nice jeans with black flats, I dubbed myself fit to leave the house. It looked sexy but also modest, to please Kyle and his family. Who knew I'd be meeting his family before we even started dating.

    Brownies in hand I walked down the street to Kyle’s house. I knocked on the door but instead of being Kyle at the door it was somebody who I never thought I would see again.

    “What are you doing here?” Matthew asked me just as surprised to see me as I was to see him.

    “I- um, live down the street. Kyle asked me to come.” I replied very nervously.

    “You know Kyle?”

    “Kind of. I brought brownies over the other day to welcome him to the neighborhood. How do you know him?”

    “He’s my brother’s roommate.” We stood there in an awkward silence until Matthew spoke.

    “So, I’m going to go get Kyle for you.” Nodding, he turned and walked into the house. Suddenly feeling very weak, I sat down on the porch swing that was hanging there. I found it very difficult to breathe and I just couldn’t hold the tears at bay. I buried my face in my hands at an attempt to muffle my cries.

    “Hey, what’s wrong?” Kyle quickly came to my side and wrapped me comfortingly in his arms.

    “He- I can’t… I’m sorry…” Unable to tell him what was going on I simply gave up trying.

    “Shhh, just try and breath.” He cooed with a soft voice. After a few minutes I finally managed to get a hold of myself. Taking a deep breath I spoke.

    “I’m sorry, you should be in there with your family.”

    “I’ll see them more times than not so I’d rather be out here comforting you. Now, why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

    Taking another deep breath I told him what was wrong. "Your roommate, his brother and I have history and we haven't seen each in so long. I'm still in love with him but he wants to be just friends and I get why because I hurt him so bad, but seeing him... It was like being stabbed in the heart. It hurt so freaking much.”

    “Maybe you should try talking to him.” I laughed sarcastically.

    “How do you think I know he doesn’t want to try again?”

    “Look, I know that we only met a couple days ago and have only talked that one time but I really think that you should try talking to him again. It can’t hurt to try.” I stared at the boards of the porch, both of us silent until Kyle spoke again. “You could come inside and talk to him now.”

    “You’ve lost your mind. I could barely do it over the phone, I can not talk to him face-to-face about it. I’m sorry, but I should probably go home.” I handed him the plate of brownies and quickly left before he had a chance to say anything else.

    I went inside and went immediately to my room and changed into some running shorts and t-shirt. I grabbed my phone and headphones and left. I walked to my favorite running trail. It started at a park and went through a beautiful wooded area that was green and vibrant and just full of life. You could even see the occasional rabbit scamper by. The sound of the river that flowed not to far from it was way more peaceful and calming than any man-made music. Nature just had a way of clearing my mind like nothing else could.

    I don't know how long I was gone for, but by the time I got back home it was dark out and had been for quite some time. I walked up to the front door and saw that there was a note taped to it. Are you okay? I tried calling but you didn't answer so in case you went out please call me when you see this, I'm worried about you so if I don't hear from you by the end of  the night I'm calling the police. Love Kyle.

    I Smiled to myself and went inside. Seeing it was almost midnight I decided I would wait until tomorrow to call Kyle. I went to my room and got in the shower. Maybe Kyle's right, maybe I should call Matthew and try talking to him again. I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound of knocking on my front door. I opened it to find two men in uniform standing on the other side.

    “Hello, may I help you?” I asked as nicely as I could.

    “Sorry to disturb you at such an hour but is this the residence of a Ms. Noel?”

“Yes sir, that’s me. Is everything okay?” They looked at me just as confused as I was.

“A missing person’s report was filed for a Noel at this address.”

“Well, I’m clearly not missing.” I joked which earned me a chuckle from both of the police officers.

“Sorry to bother you, have a good night.”

“You too.” I closed the door then grabbed my phone, dialing Kyle’s number.

“Noel, I’m so happy you’re okay.”

“A missing person’s report, really?”

“I thought something happened to you. You’ve been totally MIA for the past five hours.”

“I was seriously gone for that long?”

“Yes. Mind explaining where you were?”

“Geez dad, calm down.” I tried joking but failed.

“I was seriously worried about you.”

“I’m sorry. After I left your house I went for a run and just enjoyed nature for a little bit, it helps clear my head. When I came home I took a shower- which was interrupted by your lovely surprise thank you very much.”

“Well next time can you please at least let me know you’re okay a little sooner?” Kyle’s voice was laced with concern.

“I promise.”

“Thank you. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” I hung up the phone and went to my room. Turning off the light I called it a night and crawled into bed.

Slowly opening my eyes, the sun slightly blinded me as it peaked through the blinds. Today is going to be a lazy day. I got out of bed and made my way to the kitchen where I poured a cup of coffee. I had just sat down on the couch when I heard a knock on the door.

"Ugh I'm trying to relax!" I got up and walked to the door. "How may I-" The sentence was cut short by my jaw falling open in surprise.

“Hey.”

“Josh, hi. What are you doing here?”

“Well, I heard about what happened with you and Matthew. Are you okay?”

“No, not really, but it’s whatever.”

“You should talk to him.”

“Ugh!” I turned around and walked into the house.

“I know that we never really talked much but I know my brother and he would want to talk about it.” Josh walked into my house and closed the door, following me into the livingroom.

“I can’t talk to him. We’ve already talked about it anyway and everything’s settled, there’s no point in bringing it up again.”

    “You are as stubborn as ever.”

    “So why don’t you just go away because I’m not changing my mind.”

    “I’m here because what y’all had was great, you can’t just let that go.” I laughed sarcastically.

    “That ship has sailed and sank- horribly. Like, to the lowest parts of the ocean.”

    “Yeah, thinking like that there’s no coming back.”

    “Dude, we’ve drowned, there’s no coming back from that.”

    “You could try.”

    “Josh, no I can’t. We’ve already talked about it and he only wants to be friends, end of discussion.”

    “No, not end of discussion. See, you’re a runner, when things get hard or you don’t get your way you run and-”

    “Excuse me, but-” I tried to interrupt but he continued.

    “You run. When you get scared or things get hard you run. That’s just what you do. Now, you can run from this and hide like you’ve been doing or you can face it and get your butt down the street and talk to Matthew.” All I did was look at him. He was right though, when I get scared or things get hard I run, that’s all I know how to do. I know I should probably talk to him and I really want to but I can't. I just…

    "I can't."

    "You can you're just choosing not to." The frustration in Josh's voice was very evident.

    “Will you please just leave?”

    “No, you hurt my brother once I’m not going to let it happen again. Matthew was crusted when you walked away last night. You could’ve-”

    “No, because he’s the one that walked away last night. He answered the door, went and got Kyle, then never game back. I was out there for at least fifteen minutes. I’m not the only one at fault here, I’m not the only one who did stuff to hurt the other person. If you want anybody to try and guilt trip into starting a conversation about our relationship- whatever it may be- then talk to him because I’m tired of being the only one being blamed. I’m tired of being the only one trying!” Tears streamed down my face in a steady trickle down my face.

    “Look, all I’m saying is maybe you should try again.” Josh said with a more sympathetic tone.

    “No, I’m done trying. If he wants to talk about it, if he’s so hurt by it than he can talk to me. Matthew isn’t the only victim in this, he’s not the only one that got hurt.” I stood up and walked out of the living room and went to my room. After a minute or two I heard the front door open then close again. Closing my eyes, the quiet swept over me and thoughts crept into my head.

    “You’re the one in the wrong, you’re the one who walked out, you should be the one apologizing and begging for his forgiveness.”

    “No, I’ve apologized before and I'm not doing it again no matter how much I want him back."

    “You should, you were a b***h to him. You said some pretty harsh stuff.”

    “I’m not the only one who was harsh okay. Matthew made me cry and it takes a lot to make me cry.”

    “He was the only one who was there for you though. And the only reason why he made you cry was because you know all the stuff he told you was true.”

    “He just wanted to change me. He didn’t want me, he wanted a different version of me.”

    “Open your eyes stupid, he only tried changing you when you asked for his help, you were the one who was rude about it after.”

    “He wouldn’t accept me, he wouldn’t even try to understand me and where I was coming from.”

    “You didn’t give him the chance to, you always just blew him off and never talked about anything. He’s never been in your situation so he doesn’t understand completely but you didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt, you just got mad and started an argument. It’s your fault y’all are over and are never going to happen again. You’re the only one to blame.”

    “I am not the only one to blame, yeah I was harsh and started arguments and whatever but he said stuff that really hurt.”

    “Don’t tell me, tell him. Go across the street and fix things between him.”

    “I don’t want to be the only one trying though. If he was so hurt like John said then he would try to talk to me and not just blow me off like nothing.”

    “Isn’t that what you’re doing, blowing him off like he’s nothing?”

    “No, because I’ve already tried, and lost. If he wants to talk than he can start the conversation. Now, I’m ending this one.”

    “I’m your mind, you can’t just walk away from me like you do with everything else. And it also means that I’m just as stubborn so no, this conversation is not over. You’ve been hurt by so many people in the past you were too afraid of getting hurt again so you hurt him before he hurt you but he was never going to. You need to get over yourself and this fear you have set in your mind, not everybody is going to hurt you.” My inner battle was interrupted by knocking on my front door. I rolled my eyes and got out of bed.

    “Josh, I said-” To my surprise it wasn’t Josh on the other end of the door.

    “I’m coming in and I’m not leaving until you get your stubborn but dressed and down the street to my house and talk this crap out with Matthew.” Kyle deadpointed leaning up against a wall.

    “I don’t-” Kyle put his hand up signaling me not to talk.

    “Look, I know you feel like you’re the only one trying and I don’t know the complete story, only what I’ve been told by Brandon and you. What I know is that Matthew was in love with you, and by the looks of it you were too. But, you walked out on him.”

    “But he-” I began to speak but Kyle once again interrupted me.

    “Ever think maybe it seems like he isn’t trying because he wants to see if you will actually try to get him back, actually fight for him- fight for y’all? You left him and now he’s probably trying to protect himself from being hurt again by the girl he loves.” My heart ached and tears burned the back of my eyes, threatening to spill over. I had never thought of it like that before. Does he want me to prove to him that I really want this? It is terrifying, but I do love him and want him back.

    “Please leave.” Barely came out as a whisper.

    “No, I told you I’m not leaving unless you are with me.”

    “Kyle just… Please.” I looked up at him with pleading eyes. He sighed and walked over to me. Wrapping me in his arms, I couldn’t hold it in anymore and started sobbing. After a moment he pulled back and looked at me. Kyle wiped my face with the pads of his thumbs then left. I felt exhausted. Going up to my room and falling into bed I closed my eyes and let sleep take over.

   

I woke up and saw that it was already nine. Deciding it couldn’t wait till tomorrow, I got dressed and walked out the door. After the short walk I found myself standing in front of the dark, wooden door. I stood there for several minutes before turning and starting the walk back to my house.

I was about to walk up to my door when I heard somebody coming up from behind me. “Hey, you should come back and talk to him.” Josh said a little breathless.

“How did you know I was out there?”

“I saw you come up to the door. I thought you were going to knock. But I think you should come back, you might regret it if you don’t.” I thought for a moment before sighing. Nodding my head the two of us walked back to the house and went inside. “I’ll go get him.” I stood there playing with my hands. Looking up I saw Matthew standing there. My stomach turned inside of me. Screw butterflies, I had the whole damn zoo inside me.

Matthew nodded his head toward the hall then started walking. I looked toward Josh who gave me a thumbs up in return. I followed Matthew done the hall and into a small room. He sat on the floor followed by myself beside him.

“So, Josh said you wanted to talk.” Matthew said more as a statement rather than a question.

"Well, I was hoping we could talk about us."

"What about us?"

"I love you Matthew." He sighed and stayed silent for a moment.

"We've already talked about this, I like you but I just want to be friends."

"I know what you said, but I'm Still going to fight for you, for us. I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go. I truly am sorry, I should've never walked away and I know I hurt you but I'm not the same person I was then. I love you so much Matthew that it hurls." We looked at each other. Matthew leaned in about half way then stopped. I looked at him before I closed the gap between us.

Every emotion, every word that had gone unsaid was poured into that one kiss. That moment was perfect. I knew, I was never letting go.