Why is Nasa sending guns to Mars?

Of all the silly things the Bush administration seems to be doing these days, the Mars mission is about the craziest. First of all, the fact that we’re actually planning to go there doesn’t make any sense to me. Why are we visiting a dead planet in the first place? We’ve already been to the moon. A lot of fun that was: six taxpayer financed expeditions to send a dozen men trekking around a forsaken desert. So now we’re going to send another team to an even larger, more distant desert to do some more hiking. Mars isn’t any more special than the moon except for one thing: the sand is a different color. And oh yeah: it has a tiny bit of air.

But what’s really crazy, is that they plan to send guns this time. Why? To shoot wookies? One of my un-named sources told me the other day that the astronauts will be equipped with high powered rifles that can be fired in an oxygen deficient atmosphere. For anybody who doesn’t follow my blog, this move makes absolutely no sense. The only thing I can figure is that the folks at Nasa have been reading the SkyPath Scrolls after all. They know, although they won’t admit it, that there really is life on other planets. Humans have already been to Mars, and conquered it with bows and arrows. But bows and arrows won’t work this time. The humans have all died off because Mars can’t support them anymore. If there is anyone left, it’s probably the Klarons, the alien invaders who were defeated by the ancient Romans. The Klarons have technology. Perhaps they found a way to survive.

So maybe NASA isn’t so stupid after all. I could have told them to bring guns if they would have asked. I sometimes wonder why they don’t talk to me. I am the number one scholar of the SkyPath Scrolls. I’m still available if they change their minds. There’s life out here. Just give me a call.