Classroom

A few months ago in a bar near where I grew up, I spotted someone who used to be in the same class as me in school. This is my attempt to reconcile memories of childhood bullying back then.

Ask me to tell you what you said 

Or where you sat back then 

Or which classes we shared 

And I couldn't answer. 

Ask me who you hung out with 

Who you knew 

What you went on to do 

And I'd draw a blank. 

Instead, to me, 

You're a remnant of that time 

When the school bells rang. 

Loneliness was my teacher, 

As the Lads sat behind, 

My back to their social walls. 

Maybe you had nothing to do with 

How I avoided those I wished would say hi 

For fear of being picked on 

Or sneered at, for being 

Too soft 

Too shy 

Too nice(?) 

Too gay. 

After I came out 

Some of the Lads invited me out; 

Maybe I didn't try enough to earn friendship 

But soon, the appeal of the gay scene took hold 

And maybe they accepted me too late. 

Now, you try to say hi 

Catch my eye 

Look for a connection 

Like I once did. 

Now, I shut you out 

Not for revenge, 

But because it's what I learned at school.

September, 2018

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

This must have been difficult for you to deal with, bad memories left with you of school bullying and feeling lonely and left out. It was interesting but not surprising Scott to learn how you dealt with it. A well conveyed poem. Thank you for sharing.

Chris