SICK SICK SICK

general malaise has to be the sickest feeling ever.
give me the stomache flu anyday.
i take things breath by breath and then minute by minute
until it becomes hour by hour
where i can relax
just a little
until a tidal wave of fear sweeps over
illogical, irrational, unreasonable, fallacious.
the purest form of ugly
it's what's going on inside me.
the nerves that run throughout are surely damaged root to tip.
i go out to my garage and feel a surge of feeling spark.
it lights up for just a second then goes black
like two wet fingertips
coming together
above the wick
of a freshly lit candle.

 

please light me up again.

Reviews

[Cara]

A pure form of ugly... and you keep warning people & they just don't believe or don't want to. This rings solidly in my head & heart right now. Thanks for putting it down for me and the rest of us.

[Kiri J]

i go out to my garage where a surge of feeling sparks
lights up for just a moment:
restoring my vacuous heart
then all goes black.
like two wet fingertips
coming together
above the wick
of a freshly lit candle.

please light me up again.

exactly the reason i love what you do.
lovely.
x

[Ryan Otto]

great flow!

[shel]

well, trying to get back to reading...
she wakes up in bed with me
general malaise...
ugggh. and that last part, about the candle wick. damn. those sparks are so fleeting.
great song choice for this piece. (how rare it is that i like covers of old favorites, but this is a good one.)

[Jaclyn]

Okay, can I just say I LOVE the song Mad World as well. Are you a Donnie Darko fan?

I wish I could have told people that what I felt when I was in my depressed state that THIS was how I felt. I was so lost, so cold, so sick, but I didn't want anyone to know that it was always there.

What makes this even better is the tiny little sick hope that someone can make it better, that someone or something can light you up again, even if only for a little bit.

Vacuous: word choice, five stars (out of five, of course). :)

[Dezaraye]

You're so talented at capturing things that many feel, but can't find words to express. I read this over a couple of times just letting myself feel each word and each line. Nicely written.

[AK]

This is the first piece of yours I've read and it makes me want to read more. This feels so "real". Very nice indeed!

[Ryan Merritt]

a pure form of ugly lays upon me
it's lines like these...
good stuff kiddo