LYFE

LYFE

A Poem by rachel D

guest bed.
the steady wicks hold steady flames

 

i'm laying steady
but i'm feeling shaky

 

the white lights, how they sparkle
and the salt water begins to spill from my glassy eyes

too much
too much
too much

running myself into the ground
i can smell the damp soil i'm surrounded in

 

i'm laying steady
i'm feeling less

 

dirt
begins to fall from the sky
covering me for burial

too much
i do too much
i've done too much

 

i'm back on the bed
the wicks are still steady
the flames are statuesque

i'm just a strung-out mess

and nothing can be worth all of this
no amount of money
there is no point is stretching myself so thin
because when i'm lying on the guest bed i am barely visible
i may just evaporate

 

from too much
too much

far

far

far

too much

 

LYFE,
it isn't spelled this way

nor is it

 supposed to be this way.....

© 2008 rachel D


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Reviews

LYFE,
it isn't spelled this way

nor is it

supposed to be this way.....

No, it is not. You're right.
Feeling this way too much right now.
Loving you.
x

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i've been feeling lousy about how little time i've given some of my friends here lately, and you know you're on the very short list of special friends for me here at the cafe...reading this, and the post before it, how exhausted you must be...it really comes through. and while it's good to have the work, it's obviously taking a toll on you, and i hope that before christmas, you get some time, like i said before...to just BREATHE. that you're at least able to sit down & put the words together to express it is a good sign though. :)
and nothing can be worth all of this
no amount of money
there is no point is stretching myself so thin
because when i'm lying on the guest bed i am barely visible
i may just evaporate

feels like you're running on auto-pilot. these lines really say it well. and i wondered what the heck you were going to do with 'LYFE'...this was a clever way to sum it up, and wrap it up.



Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow well expressed ....

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

okay I also just wrote a full paragraph and it has dissolved into nothing, but i will paraphrase. I like how you portray the physical and emotional stuff of all that's going on...that made more sense elongated, but i think you get it.

loved it, as always--

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The end to this was great, it tied all the emotions and physicalness of the entire poem into one though and sentiment... I know the feeling of being run down and so stretched thin you barely have enough energy to cry and your just so tired you want to sleep forever... great write... I don't know if you did it on purpose but from the line beginning with the word dirt to the line ending with evaporate it resembled an angel... it could just be my overtired mind...

Brette

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

How true. Take a deep breath and slow down. Love the claustrophobic feel of this. Nice read.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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16 Reviews
Added on February 9, 2008

Author

rachel D
rachel D

"every wave is tidal, if you hang around, you're going to get wet", FL



About
I am 28 years old- born and raised in the suburbs of detroit, Mi. i have a serious obsession with music- it runs in my blood. that said, you will always hear a song playing when you read somethin.. more..

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A Poem by rachel D


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A Poem by rachel D