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I am not the same person as I was in this account. I have moved on and moved up. I am happy in life. I am free.
A new piece to share my feelings with those who knew me from my poetry on here:
These worldly distractions are getting to me
They're stealing my time, it just isn't for free
Though it doesn't cost money, I still pay the fee
They are taking the part of me.....
That once made me, most- happy
So like the Phoenix reborn I'll come out of the dust
Unburdened this time by the world and its lust
Money and fame and power and glory
Its about time I wrote my own kind of story
I'm sick of depression and its voice in my head
Saying I'm sick so just stay in bed
When in reality, I was just lovesick instead
And I no longer care what it said. Cause now I'm well fed.
Fed by the love in my heart for this world
Fed up with the story I've always been sold
Fed the beast that screams to give up
Fed to the brim so I've had enough
I don't write about dragons as I know they're not real
I write about life and the way that I feel
For awhile I wrote only... of a unicorn
She was just a mirage, though I could have sworn
She was real in my dreams!! but when I awoke
I found that whilst I was sleeping... my pillow would soak
Because while she really was all I said I believed
My emotions already had me deceived
They told me she was the only one
Who could make me happy
Now like the Phoenix reborn I've come out of the dust
Unburdened this time by a broken heart's trust
Said there is only one way to bask in life's glory
Well now I am writing my own kind of story
I don't follow the rules I think that life sets for me
I tried that once and it doesn't make sense to me
I'm unshackled, unbound and free to roam
I will do what I want with MY life's poem
Happiness is a choice so make it now
(It took me 19 years to learn that lesson)
Its more about what, and the why. Not the how
(humans always find a way don't we?)
Well here I am and here I stand.
I'm free to roam a new reality
I don't need approval for the thoughts of my heart
I don't want a new hole to replace the one I repaired.
It was never her fault, don't go and blame her.
She was a bandaid for a longer standing problem
I said I would not write about myth and that's truth
For those who say that's love are just merely past youth
But love is not discovered when a spark connects
Love is created when a soul reflects
On the good and the bad... Of a memory...
And they hold the good closer.
Its designed in the laboratory of experience, when we combine elements that create our passions
So out of the flames a new Phoenix arises
The same on the outside but controlling my vices
Its easier to be burdened than to fight through the heartache
But we find that colors turn gray and our emotions are fake
Now with outspread wings, my Phoenix heart laughs
With big sweeping motions...
My ashes have finally been thrown
My heart song is one with no set rhyme scheme,
(I do as I please)
Not thought out, nor sporadic but it lacks common theme
(they are after all, only memories)
Not rigid, not smooth, it scrapes the ears of those who never played the part.
(One way or the other, I feel inner peace)
But to the Phoenix arisen, it's melodic message sores to the heart.
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