alone

She feels alone everyday

but yet she decides to stay

she sits in the corner blade in hand 

she pushed the blade in her arm and it sank like sand

just one more she said

but one turned to more till her arm was covered in red

but her pain didn't stop

the tears started to drop

as she thought of option two

she looked down at the blood she drew

she cut deep in a vain

she didn't feel any pain

"i don't want to live anymore"

was her thought as she fell to the floor

Reviews

[GoGo Tamago]

Sounds like a twisting and craving of pain to stop harming. It seems like someone has harmed you in a way, that you feel dark and cold, and you don't know how to describe the painful feelings you are hiding from everyone else. I like how you describe hints and clues of how your feeling and I think a lot of people could really relate to this writing. You sound like someone I once knew in my life in the past. a friend I loss contact with years ago.

[Rodaina]

Really sad . You are a really gifted writer . I really liked the first line . Really me when I don't have any friends ( which is almost all the time ) . So Sad , but amazing !

[misterfebus]

This is one of your best poems everything's
working - spelling, rhythm where you stop
your dialogue. I like "blade in her arm and sank like sand"
I would suggest you start bringing in persons, place or
things outside from you that are causing pain, and
more theories on biology; like blood is blue and found
with you was red with pain.

[Daydreamer]

Death comes for us all too soon....

[Destiny Dreamer]

Aww it's very SAD. I loved the line "She feels alone everyday, but yet she decides to stay" The pain, the emotions are Captured very well. Very sad and Heart touching Scene is described in Your Poetry. Loved Reading it. Keep writing :-*

[Mia]

This is amazing, this is what people look for in great art: a since of emotion and your soul bleeding out into words and that is what this is.


-Mia

[victoria]

Thank you so much i appreciate it, i took a look at yours and it was amazing.

[Mia]

Thank you so much (:

[victoria]

your welcome.