Star and Angel

A long poem based on real events. The story of young love from conception to it's end.

Star: The endeavor has begun my dear

And though a challenge it may be

Though hardships shall surely follow

None can compare to the great joy

The great, unending joy you give me

I yet remember our first kiss

Begun with a kiss on your brow

An explosion of emotions rushes through

Never before had we felt this

I yet remember holding you in my arms

Staring into your eyes, your soul

And seeing my home, my final resting

A phrase wafts of those lips so sweet

“I love you”

A cascade of emotion overwhelming

Will you be forever mine?

On that day when on one knee I fall

Will your answer be yes?

My love, my life

Purveyor of my dreams

Wrap yourself betwixt my arms

Be at rest forevermore

Angel: On a crystal clear night

The stars shine so bright

Oh the magical things He creates

Their unmoving, unwavering light guides us

Their unchanging beauty awes us

Just as the Lord placed the stars

So He also placed you

In my life to guide me home

You give me safety and love

Those which I need most

With trust and encouragement to follow

Our road has been rough

A roller coaster up and down

And so it shall continue

Only now every time we climb upwards

Our love will grow deeper, greater

And our commitment stronger

And when we fall down

We shall only fall further in love

For once a star has been placed

Never can it move

And I love you, my star

You shine yet in the day

So guide me yet

And let everyone see us climb higher

And see us fall farther

Star: I cannot imagine a life

An existence in absence of you

Imagine the woods

Without trees

Imagine the oceans

Without water

Imagine cities

Without buildings

Imagine evenings

Without sunsets

Imagine winters

Without Christmas

Like a blind man without a cane

So I am lost without you

And in the midst of finding you

I found my way

And so as birds

With faith and love as our wings

Let us soar in harmony together

And let us be sore together

Be sick together

Be well together

Be rich together

Be poor together

Imagine how we'll be used by Him

Our future is anything but dim

Star gazes upon her beauty:

You are the most beautiful woman

I have ever met

Your eyes are like pools of crystal clear water

When I look into them

An overwhelming sense of peace flows over me

As though to say all will be well

They are like bastions of hope

Which shine through all the darkness in the world

Your beauty is like a starry night

Not something to be fully understood

Something so vast it leaves you awestruck

And grasping for words that cannot do it justice

When I see I know God exists

For only a God of wonders could ever make you

Your beauty is like that of a flower

You are beautiful and blossoming into

An amazing young woman

Your hair is like cascading tendrils of exotic beauty

Curly and quirky, truly unique

You leave me breathless

With your unfathomable beauty

I may be your star

But my light pales in comparison to that of an angel

My angel

Angel:

His words fill me up when I run empty

Your words lift me up

They fill my wings

Like the breeze at sea

So your words fill my sails

And comfort all my ails

I long to see you again

The days have grown cold in your absence

My star yet shines, in the distance

It's light grows dim

Like shepherds in the field at night

I shall follow my star

Angel recalls his face:

Your hair

Your eyes

Your smile

How handsome they are

But they are nothing compared to

Your hands (when they hold mine)

Your hugs

Your kisses

How loving they are

But they are nothing compared to

Your laugh

Your jokes

Your quirks

How you they are

But they are nothing compared to

Your poems

Your thoughts

Your words

How intelligent and insightful they are

But they are nothing compared to

Your mind

Your soul

Your heart

Angel: Your heart yearns for the Lord

You search for Him with such passion

It strikes me in the depths of my soul

And brings me ever closer to you

For this I fall for you

God then opened my eyes to your writing

To how you think

To how you meticulously choose each word

For this I fall for you

God then opened my eyes to your humor

Your infectious laughter

Your telling of stories and goofy expressions

For this I fall for you

God then opened my eyes to your affection

Your hugs, your kisses

The way you hold my hand

As your hold encompasses me

So I feel wrapped up in you

For this I fall for you

God lastly opened my eyes to your looks

Your golden hair

Your green eyes and your warm smile

Fully revealed to me, I fully see

You are everything I want

You are everything I need

You are everything He created

You to be- for me

And I love you so

Star:

He encourages Angel:

I know times are tough

Do this, be this, go here

All the pressures weigh you down

The darkness surrounds as the world grows dim

You are my love, and my angel

A candle within me

A small flame burning

Fueled by your eyes, your laughter, your smile

The candle burns ever on, growing, growing

Your actions and words are like gasoline

Oh please never stop pouring it on

A roaring fire fueled by all you do

I pray this fire is so hot

That it may warm you

That you may feel my love

And give you the comfort you so deserve

That it may warm you in times of hardship

When you feel cold

I hope this fire may provide you refuge

When all seems dim

With this warming fire

No problems shall seem grim

Angel:

A prayer for encouragement and strength
Thank you for my star

He is an inspiration to me

A testimony of the power of Christ

Lord, what you've started in us

I pray you never let cease

Not 'til death or the day of Your Son

What you've done with us is beautiful

Help us to conform to your word

Help us to never cease to seek You

You, oh Lord, brought us together

I pray, passionately and fervently

That you never take us apart

I am so deeply in love

He is a Godly man through and through

An unending happiness and joy permeates my being

For I get to walk with him for the rest of my life

I pray Lord you keep us from sinful ways

Lead us not into temptation

And deliver us from evil

For Thine is the Kingdom, and the power

And the glory forever, amen

The inevitability of anger, stress, disappointment, and the pressures of this world weigh down upon them. Angel's heart has wandered and Star's resolve is failing. A civil war breaks out.

Fighting:

Star confesses things aren't perfect

Star: I don't think I can take this any longer

How long can we pretend nothing is wrong?

When clearly we're falling apart

We're tattered we're falling apart

To think that we were invincible

That we could become unbreakable

Hoping we're made of stone

But slowly becoming glass

I can barely recall

How perfect we were together

Unbelieving that this would ever be hard

But shattered we're falling apart

And somehow we'll pick up the parts

To think that we were invincible

That we would become unbreakable

Who are we who are we

If what doesn't break us makes us stronger

This could make us last longer

Who are we now?

I know that things have changed

But who's to say that things couldn't be

Or shouldn't be this way

These fights push us away

Oh but I swear to you it's worth all the pain

I need to hear you say

Say you need me like it used to be

I know that things have changed

But that wont change the way

The way you've changed me

Star: My love, why

I seek only your peace and safety

Yet my own imperfections shine greatly

Stars can be placed yet stars can also die

I put my best foot forward

Yet sometimes I think you'd rather see me fall

My love for you never wavers

My dedication never falters

But I am but a man

As we go down

Please don't let me drown

My frustrations and angst

Of my failures and grievances

Weigh down on my shoulders

Oh please lift me up

My love, lessen the burden

For I find that I only

Am angry with myself

For you deserve the best

And the best is not what I am

Angel: I am sorry that I get so angered

Over trivial things

I am sorry

That I get so frustrated

And shut you out

I am sorry

That I add weight to your shoulders

And increase the burden

I am sorry that I am faultfinding

When my own faults scream out

I am striving to change

To be a woman of the Lord

For you, my dear

I strive to understand myself

To dissect my own attitude

To lessen the burden for you

I am striving to be who you want, nay

Who you need

For you deserve the best

And the best is not what I am

But I am not sorry

That I hold your heart

And make you smile

And that within me resides your home

Because I love you

You and only you forevermore

Because it's what God wants

And strange as it may be

And I know, you cannot picture you with me

And I am not sorry

That I will marry you

And will raise a family with my love

For my answer will be yes

And joy will ever abound

For ever day I shall wake to you

The sun rises along with my star

Star:

Star speaks his mind of Angel's infidelities

My love, I need something of you

I need to know you will never

Do what you did once more

I need to know that when times get tough

And life gets rough

That you won't run into the arms of another

Please, run to me

Hard times shall come

And I will fail you

Will you stay with me?

If you've any love

If you've any care

If you've any passion

For me, your star

Please give me your word

And I shall take it

You know my love for you

And daily I strive to be the man you need

I strive to be the man you need

Not the one you want

For God has entrusted you to me

And this is no light burden

You are my treasure

I pray daily that God, The Almighty Provider

Transforms and conforms me

Into the man you need

I pray you feel my love wherever you go

Know, my dear, that constantly

I am thinking of you

You fill my every thought

And I pray others can see the exuberance

That bursts out through my soul

Because I have you

You are my prized possession, my holy grail

You are my beauty and my love

I love you, I adore you

I serve you, I strive to uplift you

I am fully and unreservedly yours

So please give me your word

That my arms are your home

And no other man shall do

I will take you at your word and

Embrace you as all had never happened

Angel:

Angel prays to the Lord, seeking answers and encouragement

Lord,

Why are we going through this?

Why does he have to be so dull?

Why am I so hurtful?

Why cant we get along anymore?

I feel a thousand miles apart

And every word and deed only widens the gap

I can hardly remember how I felt for him

So long ago, it seems faded

Bridge this divide, Lord

Anguish fills my soul and

My heart wrenches with pain

Every step we take forward

We take two steps back

Tear our sinful flesh from us

Bring us to You

Bring us together

Remind us who we are

And remind us who You are

Grant us Your strength

And grant us Your peace

Angel: She does what must be done

My star, we've gone off course

My heart is full of remorse

What we done? Where did we go?

The couple that once was is gone

We crossed lines we should have drawn

We had a good run

But all good things come to an end

And I hope not to offend

Our time is over and we are done

I loved you then, I love you still

But we've become too ill

We've got growing up to do

I promise not to forget you

Star: He contemplates the separation, trying to fully understand what has transpired.

The time has finally come

A time we both knew coming

Yet for so long desperately avoided

An inevitable fate

The connection is severed

The lives are split

The road forks and

Leads to unknown places

I've no idea where mine leads

But I see as they split they aren't near

I will do what I can

To find you again

The unavoidable fate has come. The two split, never to be together again. Upon pondering this I came to realize I cannot fully comprehend how this works. The thought of someone being so close to you only to fall into obscurity is yet a strange thought for me.

The nights haunt me

Recollections and memories wrack my brain and invade my dreams

As I lay here, my thoughts wander to you

I wonder, do you think of me too?

I remember those wonderful days

I wonder who you are now

Will we meet again somehow?

There are things I wish I had changed

Now we are estranged

In my dreams you visit me

Those moments in my dreams are filled with glee

But also a heavy dose of misery

But I know that's not what I wish for

My misguided heart wants more

My heart yearns to reunite

But us together isn't right

The memory of you is trapped in my head

Thoughts and dreams torment me in bed

How can you, and I, be free?

You are not welcomed, be gone with thee

Sever the connection

That was found in our affection

Be gone, and never return

Together we dug a broken cistern

Reconciliation, a hope far gone

From each other forever withdrawn

So foolish hopes of a love renewed

Those naive dreams that always intrude

Hopeless desires that defy

All sense of logic they deny

Leave me forevermore

Be in my mind nevermore

Just another night to make it through

Another dream wasted on you

Star:

He sees Angel from afar, little time has passed, and another man is found

I miss you my dear

You yet fill my thoughts

If I close my eyes I can still almost see you

Your radiant smile and lovely dimples

I've know now you've moved on

So quickly and so suddenly

Seeing you tears at my heart

Your words were like knives

Your subtle glances now like daggers

You look at me like a stranger

Yet with a slight hint of

Deep knowing and deliberate forgetfulness

That one look stabs into me

With each passing moment pushing it deeper

I gave you full access to my heart

As you left in hurry, you ripped and teared

Now what little is left beats oh so slightly

And each time you ignore our past

Sends chills down my spine

And sends daggers into my chest

Slowly scar tissues forms

A callous around my heart

So long youthful carelessness

Locked and sealed, the key long forgotten

But I will blame myself

For holding on to what I hoped

Would keep you by my side

Have you ever been close to someone

Yet miles and miles apart

An intangible yet ever present gap

An insurmountable chasm

In this chasm is the darkest of things

Full of pain, lies, deceit

Malice, contempt, anger, and disappointment

Full of the brightest of memories

Brimmed and tainted with horrible recollections

For every good memory there's two nightmares to crush it

As you stand at the edge, you see yourself

Taunting you with the mistakes of your past

Lying to your face

I stand at this edge, facing myself

Why did I chase what you offered me?

You promised happiness and fulfillment

But I'm not fulfilled

You crushed my hope and filled it with lust

Why aren't I stronger?

Disappointment leads to anger

Where is the bridge?

I've walked up and down this chasm

Yet you are on the other side

And from the edge I can see you walk away

As you walk from the ledge I see you walk in chains

Held prisoner by your desires

You walk into your cell

There you remain

But I see the walls are closing in

Do you not see?

Oh that I could scream for your attention

That I could open your eyes

But no key do I possess

I cannot unbind your chains

Suddenly I look and I see my own chains

Wrapped tightly, bound round my hands and feet

How can I ever free you if I cannot free myself?

Oh great Deceiver, where are you now?

I indulged in your lies

You've wrapped me in chains

Now I lie on the edge, staring into the abyss

All the while I see you blissfully unaware of your chains

Oh, that I could break free and fly

To bridge this gap and bring restoration

A fool is trapped by his vices

And are we all naught but fools?

At what point must serenity take hold

And must we accept the things we cannot change?

Only a coward accepts his chains

And only a fool strives for the unobtainable

Stars last entry:

As I walk this narrow alley-way

I see the path I tried to stay

The allures of a life once mine

Invade my mind and shake my spine

To think of a bond that almost was

I see the life that left me behind

In us my life defined

I see the children of which we dreamed

With their smiles they ever beamed

To think of the home we never had

To Colorado we were bound

To reach the mountain graced ground

Around the world we'd venture after

A life of love and filled with laughter

To think of path I used to walk

I can almost feel the warmth we shared

In our sin are path ensnared

We walked until our path we lost

Strove to find despite the cost

To think of our paths as they drift apart

We met at fork stuck in the road

Seeds of love we both had sowed

But the seeds fell in tainted soil

In our love we both did toil

To think of our love as it withered and died

The plant did wither and our our love did fade

And the price we both had paid

The path I'd once called ours

Has been left bare with no more flowers

To think of a the path that lies ahead

I look to see where my path my go

I will wait for the Lord to show

One last look at the life we'd forged

Yes I will wait upon the Lord

To think of God's power and grace

Author's Note

Open for review and criticism. This is a work in progress. Thank you very much if you actually read through the whole thing because it is quite lengthy. This poem is adapted from writing contained in a journal that both I and my girlfriend at the time had written in.