Why Did I Care?

if i woke up this morning,
and an angel told me that today i would breathe my last
i would be ok.

if today i woke up,
and knew it was going to end,
i would have no regrets.

if the day began,
i would not wonder when it all would end,
or how.

if today i must breathe my last,
i would only want to say to you one thing.

...

i would walk up to you,
look you in the eye,
and say to you just what it is i wish to say.

i would use my last breath to ask...

...

"what the hell is wrong?"

then you might actually know just how much i care.
maybe then you would know.

i would then die,
and you would no longer have to pretend to care.

i would no longer have to look into your eyes and see all of your pain.
i would no longer have to listen to your lies.
i would no longer have to live to see your face.

an easy escape,
i know.

but,
i would love nothing more,
than to die
knowing that i will never have to look into your eyes full of contempt,
knowing that you will never lie to me again or pretend like you care,
knowing that i would never have to feel the hate and frustration in your voice when you spoke to me,
knowing that i will never piss you off ever again, just by my existance.

i understand know...

looking back upon my letter,
maybe i would use my last breath to say to you

"what did i do?"

but in the end you and i both know,
i would give my last breath to the wind,
and say nothing more.

it doesn't matter anyway
i never meant anything to you.
what would you care if i died?

i can guarantee you one thing,
i will not waste my last breath to tell you 'good-bye'

i'm not sure your worth it.