Tiana

The warmth of the sun’s rays
Caressed her soft tender skin,
The redolence of the freshly bloomed flowers
Waked the dainty darling by a kiss on her chin.

Her food lay on the table,
Drowned in her own blues,
Young tiana, walked past the room
Without tasting the juice, nor the stews.

The touch of the green grass
Rejuvenated her broken mind,
She just ached for a company
Who would be cosset and kind.

The young girl roamed alone
And gazed out of her window sill,
Watching the other children play,
while mom feeding them hot cheese fill.

Waving her hand to the girl next door
Who was sitting on her mama’s lap,
Tiana then walked in to have
Some food and take a short nap.

The sun had set giving way
To the night and the glittery moon,
Tiana sat near the brown teak door,
Wishing that her mom would return soon.

The chilly breeze brushed away
Her tiny droplets of tears,
She sat alone on the stairs,
Forgetting her dark night fears.

Missing her parents as everyday,
With wet lashes she slept,
Longing for parental love she quietly lay on her bed,
Thinking of her unfulfilled wish, everyday she wept.



Fifth Place

May 17, 2010

• The Truth Hurts
• Tiana

Tawny Award

Jul 27, 2010

• BROWN
• Tiana

Moon High Award

Aug 5, 2010

• AFTER THE SUN GOES DOWN....
• Tiana

Amazing Poetry!

Aug 8, 2010

• Through the eyes of a child.
• Tiana

Reviews

[Lindsay]

I agree that this poem is very sweet and conveys a delicate yet poignant message. Very touching. Some of the rhymes are a little forced, though. I think it would make a world of difference to actually take out the rhyme in order to make it flow more naturally. I think, as it is now, it sort of distracts from the message of the poem itself.

You're a talented poet. Very visually dynamic.

[A.Lee]

Its very well written and captures the emotion very well. It reads well for the most part. I might change a few words here and there to make it more even, but you don't necessarily have to. The way its written has sort of a fairy-tale feel to it, like a touching story. Well done.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem with a purpose. We must make time for our kids. Most of us learn too late to appreciate the simple times and moment. The story was very good. You took me into the sadness slow and easy. A very good ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Samuel Dickens]

Emma, below, is a far better poetry authority than I, and I'll mirror her words for the most part. It is very sad when children don't get the attention they desire and need.

[deeps]

Wow! this is just so emotional. I like this write alot.
This write came from the heart and soul and it's lovely.

[emmajoy]

The wording of your thoughts is very gently and sincerely expressed in this poem and the ending is near heartbreaking. You obviously have a very compassionate nature and your poem expresses your feelings so beautifully.

In places the metre is a little 'off' but that doesn't distract, in fact this is a good example of prose-poetry.

Thank you very much for inviting me to read this, I won't forget your words for quite a while.

[Lilly]

This is very sweet - the last stanza is quite touching and in a way heart breaking as the image you have created there is quite clear. - you have created some very nice imagery in this poem also such as in the first stanza and in the sixth stanza when it says: "The sun had set giving way To the glittery moon,"

Very nice work here.