The Mighty Dragon

rate? comment? im gonna post it on the "society of fairies of old" group page

 I am the grand dragon of this castle,

        Im know from far to near.

So I’ll ask you just once friend,

        What are you doing here?

 

I cut through the air like a sword,

        And shake the ground when I walk .

And I shall breathe fire upon you, and turn  your bones to rock.

 

I am the grand dragon of this castle,

        that’s who I’ve always been.

Of all who have ever entered here, none have left again.

 

So you see, you have sealed your fate my friend by merely walking in.

There will be nothing  left of you, it will be as though you had never been.

Author's Note

wat do you think?

Reviews

[Weaver]

"Im know from far to near" - "I'm known from far to near" - I like how you flipped the standard expression "near to far" around.
"ask you just once friend" - comma after "once"
"And I shall breathe fire upon you" - Meter seems off here - maybe "And I shall breathe my fire on you" instead?
"Of all who have ever entered here" - "Of all who've ever entered here" (meter)
"your fate my friend by" - commas before and after "my friend"
"it will be as though you had never been" - "as though you'd never been" (meter)
Nice driving iambic meter, generally - sounds like the footsteps of the dragon (what Tolkien called "the tramp of doom" *g*)

[Senseless whatever]

Very good write. great descriptions and imagery. The feeling of foreboding comes through.

[Cheryl J. Turner]

I like this, I am a lover of fantasy and old world fairytales and this sounds just like one. Fantastic!

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

i agree with Filia Lunae i love the Fantasy baised Dragons also, makes me think of a video game

[Cassiopia Summers]

Very creative. I myself love dragons, so I love this poem. (:

[KalebG (Cry Faux)]

Reminds my heart who is above my vision of love and willpower.

[.]

they never cease to create vivid images in my mind..wonderfully described..

[David W Moore III]

Have you ever wondered why every culture on this planet has had myths of dragons, but no evidence they've ever existed. I think we've sealed our fates by opening your page...

[Ryan Falzon - Tymon]

The dragon is the most powerful and beautiful creature mankind has ever created with a pen. Loved this

[Marie Harrison]

I loved it. I kept envisioning the video game dungeons and dragons. Great poem.