Living for Her

When I wrote this I was in a really dark state of mind. I had no trust for anyone or anything around me. I was out of an abusive relationship and trying to find myself again.

I feel no physical pain.

But I lay here indulging in the blossoming of a new love affair thinking of what he left.

A beautiful, smart, kind hearted woman- or at least that's who I remember. 

I cannot be mistaken.

That is not who I am anymore.

The kind and simple girl trapped inside of me is drowning in what he actually left.

Occasionally popping up pointing to the light she once radiated.

The ugliness of the world never ceases to miss an opportunity to push her head back into the dark water.

But through trial and error her strength grows.

She is guided by her angels of intuition and knowledge.

Everyday is a battle between her darkness and her light. 

She is constantly cleaning the mes he left. 

So when you say you want loyalty, she wants to believe you.

She wants to trust you. 

"You haven't hurt us" she yells as the darkness chokes her with the empty promises he made. 

Silence.

Sometimes silence feels like he won.

No.

Silence is fighting back.

Silence is apathy towards his broken soul.

But, silence still hurts.

Silence from you reminds her of silence from him.

Even if it is different, silence is still a breeding ground supporting the fear of rejection.

But she continues to fight. 

She will not allow him-or you even- to control her happiness. 

She might be drowning now but her strength will always carry her out of the dark and triumph.

She hopes you understand. 

She is not broken. 

She is a warrior.

She will never be drained of her courage.

Author's Note

Tell me everything.