Ruse

Follow your fantasies down a dark road

putting all of your inhibitions on hold

follow it to your hearts greatest desire

only to end up in a padlock gridiron

a girl a girl! An aesthetic so sweet

from the tip of her head to her tolerable feet

embodiment of perfection so I haggle and plea

to half of my heart the guard is eager to agree

then he sets her monstrous, heartless rampage loose

I drown in her, naivety, didn't take her long to seduce

I find myself trapped in a misty facade

full of deceit and a painted smiled to which I applaud

I've been hooked, dragged, and caught on a whim

another half of my heart and I break free toward the grim

despair and muffled mourning from the lack of two souls

my own with no heart and of course the disguised troll's

who trotted away minus a soul but my heart

only to reach home and tear it apart

Reviews

[sierrasparks91]

Wonderful flow and very well written i like this alot.

[b.platte]

;) you reviewed this twice. lol

[sierrasparks91]

ik lol its just that good

[b.platte]

suhweet

[Mia]

Do you watch 'So you think you can dance'? If I was Mary Murphy...I would be screaming "WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO! YOU'RE ON THE HOT TAMALE TRAIN!!!!"
This is great! You're just a gem!
"from the tip of her head to her tolerable feet
embodiment of perfection so I haggle and plea
to half of my heart the guard is eager to agree"

[b.platte]

I've watched it. lol. Thanks so much! That's freaking awesome.

[Mia]

This was freaking awesome :D

[b.platte]

:)

[sierrasparks91]

this gave me goosebumps good job

[b.platte]

:)

[MachinaWriter]

Ooh...facade and applaud. That's good use of words right there. I have to make a note of that for future reference some time lol Other than the generally pleasant nature of your writing, pacing, rhythm and technique, this was also a really good poem content wise. So many understand this feeling. As always, I'm an avid fan of your poetry. Thanks for sharing this ^^

[b.platte]

Yesss. :) Thanks!

[MachinaWriter]

Oh, btw I've made a compilation in the form of a book called A Tragic Story. If you get the time I'd love for you to give it a look and let me know what you think.

[b.platte]

I've already gotten started on the first chapter ;)

[Salma]

LOVE IT!!

[b.platte]

:D

[Hester Vane]

Brilliant sturcture and rhyme. I would say change the "2" for the word "two". It just makes it flow better. But apart from that a great poem.

[b.platte]

Okay, thanks :)

[Kelsey]

I love the words that you rhymed. I always adore your choice of words. You're a wonderful writer, keep it up. (:

[b.platte]

Thank you :)

[Belinda]

The ryming flowed well. It was good!

[b.platte]

Thank you

[Sophy.]

I really liked the rhythm and rhyme, as well as the story it told. Well done!

[b.platte]

thank you :)