Sea of Regret

i wrote this poem for my younger brother, who is "drowning" himself in drugs and alcohol... this poem is a tribute to him, although it is unlikely that i will ever show it to him.

I sigh and watch you resurface

I cannot go near this place that you have chosen

To make your last stand.

And even if I could…

Would I kill myself, to force you to win a fate

You want no part of?

My heart throbs and tells me I would

Tells me if I could… If you would accept such a sacrifice…

I would do it, give up my last breath, to give you one more.

The sea of regret swells towards me

And I let it wash over my feet, for while I am afraid

Of the inky blackness that creeps along the shore…

I cannot leave you in this place, alone.

But with every breath you gain

You lose it to shout at me

Telling me of my faults�"

Am I the cause of this pain you are enduring…?

My head says it cannot be

That mantle should rest upon another’s shoulders…

But who else would bear such guilt, without bitterness, but I?

I know I shouldn’t risk it

I know this sea is no place for me…

But still I inch my way forward

Arms outstretched

I only want to hold you

Close and ever dear

For I know I cannot save you

Your drowning is created by your own design

This sea of regret lies within your mind

And there’s not much I can do

Save spend some time with you.

You go under again

And I rush forward

Feet drifting

And I grab a hold of you, pulling you to the surface

But you claw at me

With desperate hands

You don’t want, or need, my assistance

And as you sink out of sight

I realize that I can no longer touch the bottom

And as I’m drifting out to sea

I notice that there is no one on the shore to save me

And I cannot swim in a pool, and these dangerous black waters

Hold only nightmares.

I begin to shiver and sink

Knowing in my heart

That my helping only hindered

And you don’t even remember my name.

Reviews

[Lipstick_Lesbian]

This poem struck me to my core. I found myself reading this through my sister's eyes as she watched me struggle with alcoholism, drug addiction, and anorexia. It was chilling reading your words and seeing myself in between the letters. You have moved me beyond description, my dear. Beautiful work.

[The Analog Kid]

This is very sad, but a good way to get out your feelings about your brother. Well done.

[SpokenWord]

Sigh Shayla.. What can one say to this poem as it touches the soul. Anyone who has ever been lost in the grips of drugs of had a love one who fell into its clutches knows this pain all to well. It is so hard to love someone and not try to save them understanding it is the only way so they hit rock bottom and it is then they are able to accept help to save them self. Watching it happen kills the heart and goes against our natural instinct to step in and take over, to save them even if it kills us. Yet your poem knows one must let them go and that is most painful of all. Very heart wrenching write.

[Tasha]

This is a wonderful tribute to your friend, it was sad and emotional. By the way I love the title. Great write.
♥ Ta'Shandra