Days I Despise

This poem is about the feeling you have when you know that you are going through something that you will get through successfully, but you still have to go through that situation. You are positive about the redemtion ahead but hating that you have to go t

Sometimes there's not so much to say.
Sometimes my mouth is too dry
and my voice is too hoarse to pray.
Sometimes I wish I could fly oh so far away, to the land of milk, the land of honey,
the land that's full of easy Sunday mornings,
where there are lots of happy furry white bunnies
and trees are decorating with crystal awnings. 

A land where your first love is the one you marry,
where the atmosphere of love will never perish
and the weather of life will never vary. 
A place where more days are sunny than blue,
where I can be my honestly basically truthful self with you.
Sometimes I wish there were no mirrors so I would have no reason to try to see things clearer.

In this reality that I am in, its exhausting to try live and maintain thick skin.
A mask of smiles to hide my nightly cries, make-up in morning to blind you from my puffy eyes.
There are some days in life I just can't help but despise.
Sensing trouble around every corner, but not knowing in which heart it lies.
HOWEVER, I am more than a conquerer, more than the deceit of man,
I can write you out of my history with worthless ink and a light weight pen.

Your words do not describe me, my parameters are undefined.
These days when I must realize this are the days that I despise.
These days mean trouble has come to visit me.
These days me the devil has tried me on for size.
It takes redemption to wash away trouble's ties, to tear down walls, and unveil those disguised.
 Sometimes life tears into my soul, it catches up to me even though I hide,
the days I am forced to fight out of hiding even though deliverance follows are the days I sometimes despise. 

Copyright 2009 Shelly Bell

Reviews

[Poeticpiers]

A well written piece of poetic prose I think most readers will relate to. Once you accept yourself for what you are a blend of opposites you can begin to understand others facing the same dilemma