Untitled Dream

I didn't present you with the piece of the puzzle that needed to be solved,
but I expect you to want to get involved.
I can't blame myself for your short commings
because all the time I was running...
in fear that pain would be coming and it came,
when it did it rained. The rain began to pour,
harder than it ever had before.

I gave all I could, laid my dreams in your hand,
you play with my emotions just bc you can
just bc I let you, just bc you know me, now I feel like you owe me
you owe me my blood
you owe me my tears
you owe me my years
of holding back what you couldn't make appear

what you couldn't make me see
we had fun, I loved you, you loved me, and all the time I was sleep
relaxed in your ideas, relaxed in giving then forgiving my reason for living
punishing myself with your help
the deepest love I have ever felt
but I kicked and screamed till there was no energy left

trying to wake up from my sleep
every time I was half way awake you conspired to relax me
then one day mr. sand man came to see me in person
"I normally put people to sleep, but I can't stand by and watch this dream you're rehearsing"
As confusing as this love may seem, if you don't wake up you will die in this dream
The issue this man has is his issue to pass, but you are no longer a little girl
Your father should no longer be the center of your world
and as much as you hate how much the drugs have torn you apart...you must release these questions from your heart.....

there is no answer as to why, I began to cry as the reality set in
I could not change my father into the father in my dreams

Copyright 2009 Shelly Bell