The Path of Life

A short fictional personal note that wishes to be acknowledged by all.

        The Path of Life__________________________________

That day unfurled in magical hues, as I walked the path of life. The sky donned a crystal blue hue, dotted with pearly clouds. Before I could take in more of the details surrounding me, I had someone approach me. I knew them, we frequently crossed paths where we would contemplate our existence as though it were amusing or sing along the short distance or just smile all the way. I was glad to have crossed paths with them once more. Before I could say anything at all, they meekly asked "  together then?"Saying yes would mean merging your paths as one, to walk the through the journey of life together. I found myself saying it anyway, even when I knew it was ephemeral.

I walked the path with them until we reached the point where I found myself asking, how do I move forward when I know that they shall as well as move no more? What to do of the pain in their eyes,when they realise too, but tell you to move on with words that are untold. I lay their in silence as sonder dawns upon me, the one that threatens  to drown me in my own tears. The path that seemed flamboyant and vivacious just moments ago, now seems  lachrymose, scorched and parched. I feel grief and sorrow tugging my heart downwards, my chest feel so heavy that my breath is fast and shallow. The melancholy drapes over my heart promising to keep warmth at bay and make coldness its own. The icy winds pierce through my skin sending daggers of pain across my spine. The sky that is ever so beautiful is now a murderous brooding red promising to crush my soul even if it were the last thing it would do.

 

As time passed I crossed paths with someone else, and it became ever so frequent until one day, when they else ever so softly asked, " together then?" 

Reviews

[emipoemi]

The story is soooooo poetic it's easy to love and easy to lose oneself until experiencing catharsis. You craft the progression beautifully. But the errors in your English ruin a bunch of sections (or it's that you left remnants of previously written lines among the edited ones, rendering the story in a bit confusion). Careful with unnecessary commas, too. You have a couple of them about. Finally, "the sky donned a blue hue" - take out the "hue", for it ruins the flow and undermines the "hue" of the previous sentence; and "sing along the short distance" - it's a beautiful line and image, but the image itself is not complete, for there's no antecedent to "short distance".....short distance of what exactly?.

Other than that, this is a beautiful piece. Much enjoyed.

[Vin]

You have a thing of saying a story in few lines. That's something to wonderful! If you keep digging, I'm sure many wonderful tales of happiness and beauty will come through.

LOVE...

[serendipity]

Awe, it's a pleasure to hear from u. Thank u

[heith.ash]

It's very very beautiful. The way you have described every feeling ,the surrounding. indeed a path of life.