poem "friendship of fakeness"

      friendship of fakeness


wondering what has gone wrong
it isnt easy getting over our friendship
i hope it isnt for you as well
i need a very strong tip

how did we end up like this
mad,sad and angry at eachother
it's like someone stabbing me with a knife
ever since that moment i have struggled

with every step i take
i remember the good times
like the time we were by the lake
having a picnic and having limes

i miss you every time and then
not talking to you is killing me
but i must stay strong
to prove everyone wrong

nothing should have gone wrong
if you told me the truth
seems like i'm going through a dreadful song
a lifelong 16 year length song

but i must stay strong and move on
losing you will not stop me from having fun
you were not the friend i thought you were
it was all a lie full of pros and cons

friendship full of lying
a fool i was for believing
watching our memories dying
from all the misery and hurt

but i thank you for ending it
if you haven't then i'd be living a lie
with the person i thought would stay by my side
you proved me wrong

Reviews

[Yasmin]

Well we have all experienced fake friendship and it does hurt but is always a good inspiration to write new poems.
You have many brilliant ideas yet you choose to focus on the rhyme (I felt at some points that it was forced) and you seem to be new at this so I'll give you a piece of advice "The more you read the better you write"
Well done and I hope you improve fast :)

[Shoug]

thank you! and yesss i ammm

[Ma. Catalina P. Yanuari..]

its nice for a starter, you need more practice coz I've read some of your short poem and they are way better than this ..so you can do better .....well done.