For better or for worse

(This was actually for a writing competition so the character is not me 0-0, a lot of people have been mistaken by that)

I was never one for writing inspirational stories.. But here I sit, at my typewriter “trying” to at least get something out there. I’ve never tried to write out such a large chunk of my life, but this has changed me so much. I do not do this for the sake of me or you. I do this for the sake of the people who will never be able to move on past that day because their families can no longer love them, be there for them, or even see them, because one small word can explain the meaning of all of this tragedy and pain that caused this world to turn against itself… War.

It was 2002.. I had just turned 20, now officially at 2 years in the U.S army. I was sent straight to Syria when I joined. There was so much violence over there, they could barely reach down and pick up a bottle without getting shot. It was rough, I must've seen over 1,000 men die before me through those 2 years.

We all fight for something, whether it be your family, your country, your heritage.. But once it happens and you see what horrors you thought was honor unravel before you.. You no longer care for those things because the job you have been given is not to love your family, it is not to honor your country, it is to kill. This blood you shed is nothing compared to the people you kill, and one day you too will become the target. They don’t know your past, they don’t know your family waiting at home for you to message them back after a hard day's work. So the only thing you can really ask is ‘Why?’ and I assure you that you will get the same answer everytime, because it hides all the pain you went through, the men and women you killed with lives back home and animals waiting on their return.

That very answer is ‘Because’.. No words deserve to be spoken after this because it shows what horrors this place has done to you and how you have left your feeling of love with all the souls lost in the battlefield as they roam and squirm looking for deeper meaning behind the one-word wall you put before them. War really does change people and for better or for worse would be their decision.

I have experienced the build up to the mental breakdown where all your mind says is-

‘Because, because, because’

You’ll wish this never happened and you’ll turn your back to the very thought of the word, but it covers you like a blanket, holding you tightly.. So my men when they ask you why you did such horrors that you may one day call honor.. What do you say to show them?

‘Because…’

Author's Note

Please ignore grammar and punctuation problems- I only had 45 minutes to write this and I didn't want to change a thing since I got the highest score with this piece.