Wow, What A Story

A Story by Lily M

Short story written for a competition, very sarcastic. Any feedback welcome

It was a dark and stormy night. The full moon peeked through the dark clouds hanging overhead. The waves crashed against the struggling boat, sending in a precise gallon of water with each impact. I could barely keep up with the constant flood, furiously tossing bucketfuls overboard. The raging ocean showed me no remorse. And then I saw it, a giant wave rising from the sea. I knew this was the end of me. Then everything went dark.

When I awoke it was day and the storm has subsided. Miraculously I had remained in the boat all through the night despite the relentless storm. It seemed I truly had luck on my side for in the distance I spotted an island. After a half hour of paddling I was stood on the beach. But I wasn't alone. There, on the beach, was a bloated corpse. I had found land but now I faced a new problem, WhoDunnit? [Cue X-Files theme song]

I scoured the sand for clues for nearly an hour. At the end of my search I had discovered a soggy letter addressed to “My dearest daughter”, a large, brass key, 4 teeth, and a hard boiled egg. It sure is lucky that before my unfortunate stranded-in-the-middle-of-the-ocean-in-a-small-boat-with-no-food incident I was a world renowned detective. The name's Sholmes, Herlock Sholmes. I think. Everything's a little............milky. I mean hazy, that's the word. Hazy. [Keep in mind potential brain damage sustained in tidal wave]

I pulled out my comically oversized magnifying glass and began studying the teeth. Or are they teeth? Yep, definitely teeth. Yet another brilliant deduction from the world renowned Herlock Sholmes. I really am the greatest. “Jatson, get over here!” [What? Where did he come from? What a twist. Excellent writing.] Wohn Jatson poked his head out of the bowls of the rowboat. After a quick 360 scan of the area he leapt from the boat and bounded up to me. He seemed excited. Almost a little too excited. That Jatson, always so enthusiastic about homicide. “Jatson, do you know this man?” I pointed dramatically to the body on the beach. “No,” he replied, “but I do know..that man!” he said, pointing even more dramatically at a second body lying a bit further down the beach.“Absolutely brilliant, Jatson! You have quite the eye. Now Jatson, how do you know that man, that mystery man?” Jatson looked puzzled for a minute then his face suddenly lit up. “Why, Herlock, I do believe I killed that man. Yes, that is how I know him. I watched the life leave his eyes after I fired a bullet right into his chest. And that one too I believe.” he said, in regards to the original body. “Another case solved, well done Jatson. I do believe this calls for a celebratory couples massage.” [Fade out]