She is lost!!somewhere..

This is the condition of an old heart who looses his best partner in the battle of life. A night of his nostalgia.. a heart of grief. - I tried to feel it.

A strange lonely night has fallen down steep,

Over my garden where I stand..

The moon which has lost its half today,

Looks pale in the star studded island!

I’m looking at it, while it see my shadow

Which resembles that of a crippled old man..

I’m not surprised to see it anymore

My age has been eighty three this Jan!

                   I move my eyes to look at the roses,

beautifully they were brought up by my beloved,

              they smelt just like her white turned hairs.

                          With her motherly care, she laid them to bed.

-“Hey what are you doing? You won’t eat anything? Since morning you are busy with those roses, even I’m waiting”

-“I will come, I‘m cutting the weeds, its necessary, they will harm my kids. Now I’ll feed them, give some water..U start eating, I will come after..”

 

I look back to see them, they have turned so attractive this years,

It was the love of my wife, her dedication, her frail yet soft arms..

She once told “ I will make them beautiful you see”

She kept her words, the garden belongs her charms <3

I move inside the house, with help of the stick,

There is no touch to help me further..

It’s dark inside, no one lit the evening lamps,

Suddenly, a deep absence of someone

               Makes me breathe harder..!

I sit down on the chair, leaning back my nerves,

My eyes kept close while I think of her presence..

                  It’s my writing table near, where I was always busy

Bearing me seemed never too easy,

But she never complained when I forgot the world,

She waited for me, with patience!

                  I almost left every worries to her,

Which she gladly took, seeking my leisure

Timely food, tea with less sugar..

& each medicine she handed over,

Carried bliss of her warm, loving nature!

-“Its time for your food & it has been so late, don’t have to get up..here comes your plate. Now sit up, have the dinner I made. Then I’ll give your medicines as Doctor said”

-Why do you worry so much for my health, I’m fine you see.  I Don’t like those medicines,  they wont help me.

Leave your health to me, I better understand what u need,

Till m alive, u have to listen to my plead..

When the day will come & I die..I wont disturb u more” was her reply!

Rising up I move towards the bed,

To sit slowly over her properly tucked bedsheet,

I remember how she took the corner,

& stretch down her pain stricken feet..

How she used to weave the thread with her trembling fingers

& make a sweater thick enough for my need!

   -Just a minute, let me see..does it fit you or not?

-Goodness this is so much hot!

- why do you make new things for an old?

-So that no more you are troubled by the cold”

I am smiling now..this bed has got so lot of memories,

During our marriage, it was almost covered with petals of love..

& she looked amazing as a bride..her eyes covered with shyness

As I turned off the lamps above!

When we were young, it was the best place to be..

I remember how we sank into each other ‘s heart,

Until we had a baby to sleep in between..

Making us the most happy couple on earth!! 

                   But nothing stays long, nor did our happiness

We dreamt to end up getting hurt!!

“Mom, I need to live away from both of you. There are certain ambitions of mine which can’t be fulfilled out here. & there is a girl even, whom I love & want to marry. I think we need some privacy &..”

you want to break this happy small family? how can you?? Now we don’t mean anything to you?

But her mom’s voice came cold..let him go..he should stay happy!

I can feel the silence of balcony,

When my eyes looked at that one empty chair,

It was kept there, where sad beam of moon has fallen

She is no more for things to share!

After our son left us with dark hours of night,

We used to sit out, staring at the way with endless hope,

We talked for long, old memories recalled..

Leaving eyes wet at every scope!

At times I used to look by her side,

& wonder what would have been to me without her!

I felt helpless when she cried loud last day,

& her lean head found way back to my shoulder!

“Don’t cry Minu. This is destiny. But I’m happy, you’re with me. You are the bestest wife one ever could have. I love you very much. From today onwards I will listen to everything you say. I wont trouble you. I will rather take care, I know you must be laughing now. But I don’t want to loose you now. I ‘m feeling to hold you tight. I…MINU…MINU

What happened to you, why don’t you speak….!!”

I touch those pink walls to feel touch of her fingers,

She was very happy to find her favourite colour

thanking me with a kiss down my cheek,

her eyes din’t stop to see how I painted all over!

& then she got the biggest surprise,

When she found a ring kept near the bed.

I remember, she was blushing, her shyness turned red!

I pull out the ring from the shelf to see once,

They took it out when you were still,

& my heart was torn apart, the crowd couldn’t feel.

I look at the mirror ahead, they have some of her “bindis” stuck,

She often used to change them wondering how it looked

I admired her at every turn taking eyes out of newspaper,

Even age din’t affect the beauty, as it should!

- What are you looking at?

-nothing, just that you have grown more beautiful with age. I love the way you still experiment with your bindis! I must say, I made a deadly choice 

Huh, stop..mind your age a little(with a smile).

Switching the lights of kitchen,  I can’t see you cooking for me

I ‘m hungry, but no one to make food for this old..

Wont u bring the blanket, I’m feeling so cold!!

The almirah is open, her clothes smells my life,

A small place of worship, makes me miss my wife! 

Now I’m watching her, she is so near,

Smiling at me..on my helpless condition..

Why did she leave me so alone

That my eyes are struggling for vision?

This bag mansion hears the breath of my grief,

she shouldn’t have left me so creep!

It’s a strange night sinking upon the world of mine

Near her photo, this old fellow can’t stop crying,

I lost the only company I had so far,And now I’m just left for dieing…

Author's Note

This is my first try. so kindly help me with your honest feedback.
It would be a great inspiration to write better.

Reviews

[gonelikeafreightrain]

I really loved this writing, It was a little long but it certainly came from the heart and when the heart speaks it can't stop!