Loss, Love, Fear, Pain.

A girl sits at her window bench, looking out at the rain that envelops the land. Promising green grass, sweet smells, and bright sunshine for the day to follow. She huffs out a mighty sigh, trying to clear her mind, as terrible thoughts race across the finish line, trying to finish this poor dear first. Each, their own way of torture. Each, knowing that even while they race, she feels the pain. Each, feeling the tears trace her face.

She sits there and thinks.

Sitting at the kitchen table, Maria's family is wrapped up in conversation. Laughing and enjoying the moment, Maria smiles. Thinking about how maybe, just maybe, that this will be the truth to her family. Maybe. Just maybe. The other moments were the worst darkest places her family can go. Maybe... just... maybe... It's now over. But, she looks over to her father, and sees his malevolent eyes, and knows, that what happened was just the beginning.

She crumbles in on herself and starts sobbing her heart out. Feeling the rumblings from the live house beneath her she sits up again, trying to wipe away the ever-flowing tears, to no avail. Hearing a knock on the door, she sits up straighter calling out a simple yet forced "Yes?"
Her mother is on the other side of the door, with a scowl on her face. "May I come in Sweetheart?"
She feels herself sigh in exasperation and goes over to open the locked door. Nodding her assent she goes back to the window, facing her mother as she sits on the girls canopy bed. As she waits.. she slips into another memory....

She hears a thunk ring throughout the room as her head hits the wall, her throat being squeezed by her father. Growling her father tells her all he blames her for.. being a s****y daughter. Worthless. Disgraceful. Stupid, irrelevant, and a disgusting girl. The insults go on. All the while being squeezed of her life. Squirming, trying to get away from the pain, the fear of being killed, and the loss of one of her family, loved ones, trying to kill her. He squeezes harder. Till a shriek is heard startling the man enough to give Maria enough time to run for her room, locking the door on the way in. Leaning against her door, she rubs at her throat, sliding down, beginning the cycle of tears all over again.

She is startled out of her reverie as her mother says her name louder.
"Maria!" she says, "Aren't you listening to a single thing I'm saying? You're father loves you very much. It's just that he has a problem with his temper. And he can't keep in control of himself. Don't hate him honey. He doesn't mean it."
Starting to protest, Maria looks up at her mother. Noticing for the first time, how desperately her mother is trying to believe her own words. And failing.. Can you blame her for taking sympathy of her? So she opens her mouth, and lets the lies pour out.
"I know Mother. Its alright. I know." She goes to her mother and gives her a hug. Her mother weeps her worries out to her only daughter.. Being blind to everything but her own sorrow.
Seeing her mother start to stir, she lets go and goes back to the window seat. Her mother looks up apologetically.
"I have to go, or else you're father will be mad." says she as she kisses Maria's forehead, leaving her room alone to herself once again.

As the last tears go down Maria's face, she notices the fact that she is trapped in a never ending circle of rhythm. Wanting to remember the good days, she lets her mind go blank... and lightly wonder across her memories... Till she remembers one bittersweet start.

Clasping onto the sleeve of her mother's shirt, as not to get lost, the little girl with a bow in her hair tries to disappear behind the grown woman. Peeping out like the shy child she is, this little girl tries to observe the world like her mother would. Gracefully, Potently, Trusting, Loyally, Understandingly. She looks up at the man that reeks, and the woman with the crying twins unable to calm them, she finds each a valuable excuse, and holds onto it. Looking up at her mother, in the intention of finding the same expression she is sure to find on her mother's that is surely on her's, she finds instead anger and judgment. On her face you see Disgust and utter contempt. The girl staggers with shock, for how could such a wise woman look with such hate? Especially one that she loves oh so much. That she idolizes to the very core of her being. She looses her grip and stands stock-still. Not able to breathe, unable to blink. Her eyes wide. How could someone she love make such a silly.... decision? How could she....?

With a shake of her head, she dispels her illusion of Time, and lets her eyes drift shut.. for she is depressed by the thought that still, after all this, she still does not have an answer to the most important question. How could she?

Author's Note

Let me hear you speak, my dears.

Reviews

[Ashley.M.E]

this is really good, I love how you started it and brought in the past. It fit togeither so well, keep it up.

[Wicahpi]

revisiting a very well crafted story!

[Rain Kissed Secret]

O_o no matter how many times i read your stories and poetry i am always shocked speechless at how well you can put an emotion into words, and into a story. wonderfully done sis!

[GunMetal]

I'm very impressed with this. The narration was very good, and they way you described it was was touching and sad. The way you switched back and forth between what was happening and what was memory really brought the story together. I wouldn't expand on it, I think it ended very well. It did what it was supposed to do, told the story it was meant to tell, without overstating anything. Though if you did expand on it, I'm sure it would be just as good.

[A.Lee]

This is really good. I like the fact that there are memories at every turn. They never stop when you go through things like that.

[Wicahpi]

Such sad story, hardly believing a mother could make excuses for such man over her own child. Yet, fear makes one do and say crazy things. This story could definitely progress onward. I feel sad for Maria. Pity for her mother. Yet a tad bit angry. Good job in crafting this story thus far.