my vicarious celebrity

"arielle?"
"...yeah?"
"hey, this is jesse."
"oh. you wanna talk to dawn?"

DAWN JESSE FROM MAROON 5 IS ON THE PHONE!!

"do you like Big Love?"

"i haven't really watched it, but once i sat next to bill paxton on an airplane. we became pretty good friends!"
"wow. really?!"

"yeah. i saw him a few months ago in L.A. and he stopped me and asked 'how do i know you?' and i was nervous, i couldn't really talk so all i said was 'airplane.' and he said 'oh! right right right. L.A. to new york! how are you? are you still dating that guy?!'"

dawn shows me pictures of her modeling in magazines.
"this is jesse's ex girlfriend." she says.
"oh yeah?"

"do you think she's prettier than me?"

and i tell her the truth, which is no, which makes me want to kick her.

* * *

last night at three in the morning i got a call from a strange number and i hoped it was you calling to talk me out of joining the navy,
but it was really just Maroon 5.