The monster beneath my bed

Just a little something that came to me last night. I have trouble sleeping sometimes :)

Darkness.

Only darkness.

The shadows… confining my every move.

As a phantom prisoner of time I crawl.

I close my eyes, slowly.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I stare into the void, breathless.

Who’s there?

Could the branches on the outside of my bedroom’s window be coldblooded murderers of the night?

The fear.

As an executioner of the soul, the fear.

I try to run away.

But my body doesn’t belong to me anymore.

He has taken over my soul.

He has taken over me.              

He has tamed me like I was some kind of wild animal!

Exiled me within myself.

It was him!

The monster beneath my bed.

A tear comes running down my pale, petrified face.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

There’s nothing I can do.

The monster came to stay.

 

 

Author's Note

Please ignore any grammar ou spelling errors. English is my second language and as such it's hard for me to translate correctly.

Reviews

[Robin]

you express the anxiety and restlessness of when we stare into the night

[Eagle Cruagh]

We never escape our childhood.

The monster is just that, a monster that was
beneath your bed when you were a child.
Unable to sleep the monster comes back ...

A beautiful writing. Dramatically exposing your
fears and problems when insomnia strikes.

This is exceptional. No problems with English
here. Beautiful !

My rating ---- 100 %

----- Eagle Cruagh

[Mariah]

I didn't notice any grammar problems-the only thing I would suggest changing is the phrase 'tic. tac.' to 'tick.tock.' if you're trying to show the passing of time, which is what I guessed. This is fantastic, though, a great concept for a poem.

'As an executioner of the soul, fear.'

I like that line.

[Collateral]

Wow, that was just wow. I can honestly say I became scared myself for a moment. I felt your fear, and that is what a good writer is supposed to do. I really like it 100%

[SLAlexander]

I think it's great. Gave me the chills!