Molestation.

This is a hook.

Screaming out please no.

The harsh ripping sensation.

Trying to let go.

Reviews

[nfuschetti]

This almost seemed like a haiku to me. Obviously, the syllables would have to be different. But I liked that you keep it short, in that sense, it's effective. You don't overdo the message you're trying to get across, you keep it simple and to me, that's the most effective. I think the first and last line are definitely stronger than the middle line. You could definitely use a better adjective in place of pain (of course, just suggestions, it's after all, your piece). I also think 'rises' could be replaced with a more effective word. But sometimes, when I've written something this short, I just keep rewriting as much as possible with various different words in place of the ones I used until I find one that clicks with me more.

But again, it's just a suggestion. Otherwise, I think this has a great deal of potential!

[Soranda-Jenae]

Thank you.

[Ilyana]

Very graphic and vivid!