Max

lovestory

Max

I know what you're gunna say. You'll say

            You were too young. You didn't know love.

And I'll look at you with this knowing look, and you'll believe me for a second, you'll believe I knew, and then you'll shake your head and change your mind.

But I'll say

            Just listen.

And you'll listen even though you have better things to do.

And I'll tell you about his hair, and his striped shirts.

And you'll grin that cynic's grin.

I'll tell you that I stopped him, and asked

            Do you love me?

And you'll picture me, in my green dress, on the playground, next to the monkey bars.

And you'll say

            What next?

And I'll tell you he said yes.

And I'll go on with the details, and the playdates, and the grilled cheeses. I'll tell you how we watched Barney on my daddy's bed. I'll tell you about that time when I was embarrassed because my drink was in a sippy cup, and his was in a grown-up cup.

I'll tell you how I fell in love and tore his picture in half. I'll tell you how I cut up a dollar bill to show him I was a daredevil.

I'll tell you everything I remember, and I'll make up things I don't, like what his favorite color was (black) and where we were when we first held hands (firestation).

And to humor me, you'll look me in the eye, and you'll say

            You really loved that kid, huh?

And I'll look back with conviction. I'll say

            Yes. And he loved me.

And I'll continue for a little while, about the birthday party when he was the only boy there and the cake my momma made but that I pretended to make, before I stop.

Then, expecting your skeptic gaze, I'll say

            You're right, you're right. It wasn't love.

Before I even look up.

And then you'll nod and smile, because you agree.

And I'll smile back because I'm lying.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

I appreciate economy in a story, and you've done a supreme job here with effective use of words, saying just enough to tell the tale. Young love is a favorite subject of mine, (which I also write about) and you've pushed all the right buttons. A very charming story. Two things--I find the odd layout a bit distracting and I think you should name the person to whom you're speaking. You could do it only once in the very first sentence if you wanted, ie, "I know what you're gonna say, Charlotte....." I think by doing that, you would alleviate any curiosity or confusion the reader might have, and free their minds to more easily injest and process the rest of it.