Pitter patter

There was a storm last night and i thought of this.

Pitter patter pitter patter,

Thats how the rain goes.

On dark nights but this one darker.

For the thunder and lightning

Ever so loud.

You go screaming and crashing

all though the house.

As the storm begins to slow

you crouch in the darkness

Wishing you couldnt hear that sound.

Pitter patter pitter patter

Author's Note

Ignore grammer/spelling
I think it needs someting else,what do you think?

Reviews

[Ciara]

i like it rlly good grl XD

[Star Wolf]

This is really nice. I like it. The only thing that comes to mind for me would be suggesting the rain is falling a little harder since there is a thunder storm crashing about. Maybe somewhere in the body of the poem to emphasize the gentler sound of the rain at the end of the poem, which seems to be saying (but I'm not totally sure about this) that was the sound wishing to be heard.

[Ashli The Amazing]

i like it how it is [:

[Becky C Strukamp]

Describes not liking the noise of thunder just fine.

[Larry Dyson]

we are empowered by Wakinyon Oyate...thunder and rain...very nicely spoken..

[Just Me]

Y r we screaming through the house??????? Thats what i think it needs or mayb schange that line in2 something that goes better with it. IDK.... I liked it.