Shinjitsu no Yajirushi [Arrow of Truth]

Very very far from completion, just want some critical feedback on the current characters and writing style.

Chapter One

“Yeah, okay I know, I’ll be sure to do that on the way back. Yes I know, you don’t have to keep reminding me.”

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

The phone in Ayato’s hand began to buzz, surprising him with the sudden vibrations; causing him to almost drop the phone against the concrete.

“Okay, I have another call coming, I’ll talk to you later when I get back..”

Ayato closed the call, then picked up the new call coming in without checking the display.

“Hello?”

...

“Hello! Is anyone there?”

...

Silence came from the speakers of the phone, leaving Ayato in a state of confusion.

“Hello??”

...

After another period of silence, Ayato put the phone down, deciding that it would be best if he had just hung up the call.

However-

“Greetings.”

From the speakers came a warped, gravelly voice.

Ayato, relieved, put the phone back up to his ear.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Greetings, You have been selected.”

Chapter Two

“Look, I don’t know who this is, but if this is a prank it’s not funny, I’m hanging up..”

“the game has begun.”

The phone then suddenly began to vibrate, becoming faster and faster in its motion until suddenly-

The phone began to heat up and smoke in Ayato's hand, causing him to drop it due to the sudden change in temperature.

But to Ayato’s shock-

Instead of colliding with the ground, the phone had burst into a flash of blinding light, followed by a warp in the space ahead of him.

Due to the climax of light, Ayato had shut his eyes. When he opened them once more, he expected to see the broken pieces of his cellphones. What he saw however, was an elegantly crafted bow radiating streaks of violet light.

Mesmerized by the beauty of the weapon, Ayato reached forward to grab hold of it, but just as he was about to make contact-

“Oww!”

The bow had forged a shroud of darkness around itself, denying Ayato access.

Recovering from the pain, Ayato noticed a message scrawled out in front of him.

To access the true nature of this bow, you must first release it’s name.

If you deem yourself worthy, then think of the lunar moon and its truth shall be presented to you and you will be granted power above all other.

However, if you were to fail, the chaos of this aura will consume your very being.

Upon reading the message, Ayato fell into a state of inner turmoil, unsure of what action he should take.

“Power...”

“Power above all other...”

“Power enough to overcome all obstacles...”

Ayato’s words hung in the air, leaving him with a sense of longing for the strength promised to him.

“Snap out of it.”

Suddenly snapped out of his trance, Ayato turned to look at the person that had spoken those words.

Dark purple hair that seemed to suck away the light of the Sun.

Deep violet pupils which embodied the beauty of the night sky, holding a sharp gaze on Ayato and the mysterious bow.

A steeled expression that showed no sign of emotions, causing shivers to run down Ayato’s back.

Vibrant pale skin that seemed to radiate an otherworldly darkness, creating a shroud of pure black.

Stood before him was a feminine boy with a slender frame who appeared to be around the same age as Ayato. This boy, however, held an aura so disturbing that it forced Ayato down onto his knees, sucking away what strength he still had.

At that moment-

A monstrous roar burst out from the crumbling remains of a house that was still standing just seconds before. What had created the sound was a mantis-like creature the size of a car with massive claws smashing what had remained of its initial rampage.

Ayato could not comprehend the reality before his eyes, but the boy that had appeared seemed to be unfazed by the situation; on the contrary, he had began to walk towards the rampaging beast with what appeared to be as smirk appearing on his lips.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU’RE GOING TO GET YOURSELF KILLED!”

Ayato screamed with all the strength he had remaining, but the target of his outburst remained unperturbed.

“There is no need to worry, I shall finish this in an instant.”

These words should have shocked Ayato, however it was the emotionless voice that spoke them which had caused Ayato to lose whatever nerve he had remaining.

As the enigmatic boy walked towards the beast, he began to speak.

“By the cold dark of the freezing night-”

The beast turned its gaze upon the boy.

“By the chilling air of the dying breath-”

It charged forward, preparing to strike.

“Freeze the heavens above and drown out all light-”

The monstrosity was seconds away from colliding with its target

“The name is: Juuchi Yosamu.”

The world exploded in a cold mist, hiding everything from view.

Chapter 3

Though Ayato’s vision had been obstructed by the cold mist, he still heard the inhuman scream as shards of crimson ice exploded from the epicenter of the mist.

“Finale.”

With those words, the icy mist swirled around the boy and was sucked into the blade, the ice on the ground melting into pools of scarlet blood.

“Come.”

With that, the boy turned away from Ayato and began to walk.

“At least tell me your name if you want me to go with you.”

The boy’s face turned into one of confusion, but he did not slow in his steps.

...

After a moment of consideration-

“Yuki Shizuku.”

Chapter 4

“Can’t you at least tell me where we’re going?”

On the verge of collapse from exhaustion, Ayato questioned Yuki once more.

...

Ayato’s question was met with silence.

“If you’re not going to tell me that, then at least tell me why you wanted me to go with you.”

...

Yuki was clearly uninterested in answering Ayato.

Dejected, Ayato turned his attention to the encased bow he carried. He was still unable to make contact without being rejected by its aura, but Yuki was able to form a casing of ice, allowing Ayato to temporarily hold it.

Ayato was still unsure of if he was willing to risk his life in exchange for a vague promise, but seeing the demonstration from Yuki had filled him with envy.

“Here.”

Yuki stood in front of a rundown building that looked as if it would collapse from a light breeze. The building, however, held an aura of grace and magic that was the complete opposite of its exterior appearance.

“So you are able to pick up on the traces of magic used for the illusionary spell, that is a good sign.”

Yuki praised Ayato for reasons he had not understood, to Ayato it seemed like natural instinct; but according to Yuki it was a rather impressive trait that few are able to demonstrate without training.

Yuki proceeded to knock on the weathered door with force, but there was no answer from the inhabitants within.

“As expected.”

Yuki lowered himself into combat stance-

“Juuchi Yosamu, First Form: Zan-Kori”

A blade of ice slashed forth from Yuki, cleaving a previously unseen barrier of air apart.

“Reverse”

Yuki swung the blade back up to slash apart the door, however before the blade could make contact-

“Kaze-hime”

A dagger of wind stopped the blade of ice mid slash, scattering crystals about the walls and creating a blast of air, sending Ayato tumbling onto the ground.

The dagger of wind danced about the air, clashing several times with Yuki’s Juuchi Yosamu before finally being slashed into nothingness.

The door, now covered in ice, creaked open.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!!”

In the doorway stood a man of moderate build with smooth, long hair that glowed silver under the light from the Sun. His bright orange eyes emanated rage towards Yuki and his lips quivered in anger. The skin of the man was a warm beige that was moderately tanned, with scars that would normally be hidden showing from his rolled back sleeves.

“You would not open the door.”

Yuki, unaffected by the outburst of the man in front of him, responded calmly.

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN- Hmm? Who did you bring here now.”

The man noticed Ayato, who lay on the ground, unconscious from exhaustion and trauma; his hands clutching the casing of ice.

Chapter 5

“Ayato...”

A gentle voice came from deep within Ayato’s mind.

“Master, call my name, command that power rightfully belonging to you.”

Despite the tender nature of the voice, it still put a great deal of psychological strain on Ayato; overwhelmed, he sank back into unconsciousness.

Chapter 6

“-!?”

Regaining consciousness, Ayato found himself lying on a soft bed.

“Was that all a dream?”

Ayato moved the sheets aside and looked around for the clock that sat on his nightstand; when he came to the realization that there was nothing there, he snapped out of his daze and noticed his strange surroundings.

Instead of his unkempt bedroom, he was in a neatly organized study that seemed to contain books from cultures around the world.

“You are awake.”

While Ayato was focused on his investigation, Yuki stepped into the room.

“So it was real...”

Ayato muttered to himself, ignoring Yuki’s remark, when he suddenly noticed the empty feeling of his hands. He began to look frantically around the room for the case Yuki had created for him, while Yuki laid down the black bow, now free from its casing.

“Are you looking for this?”

Relief coursed through Ayato’s body as he realized the mysterious artifact was still intact, the tenseness in his body dissipated and he turned his attention to Yuki.

“WHERE THE HELL AM I EXACTLY?”

Author's Note

Very far from completion, based on Japanese light novels.