RAIN POURS INTO MY SOUL

Rain pours into my soul
and fills the base with my frothy tears.
These condescending waters ripple and burn
within the cryptic places of my mind.
I am enraptured within your crazed illusions.
For the delusive device is on a tangent
that feeds on the spirit and releases
deceptive gasses when the follies come to town.
Fragrance of death creeps into my senses
and defies credence of this iridescent shore.
You are my abode when I shivering in the cold.
You the fire that burns in the sky on an sunny day.
I am the whisper that echoes throughout resonate chamber.
My ears listen to the fiddler that drizzles out his weeping melodies
to enrich the soul and taper the pang the throbs in my heart.
but you are the pavement that cracks when a blow strikes your body, forever eluted inside this tomb.

Author's Note

What do you think of the prose?

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

"When I shivering in the cold" shouldn't that be "I'm"? and I was wondering about "resonate chamber" as well.... It seems like it should be "the resonation chamber" instead...it sounds stilted the way it is. I do like the comparisons drawn and descriptive usage. I like "My ears listen to the fiddler that drizzles out his weeping melodies" but the following line..."to enrich the soul and taper the pang the throbs in my heart." It seems like the third "the" should be "that" instead. I'd be hesitant to use "the" so many times sequentially regardless. Just my thoughts, I hope you find them helpful.

[Bubo]

You are my abode when I shivering in the cold.
You the fire that burns in the sky on an sunny day.
I am the whisper that echoes throughout resonate chamber.

Outstanding prose! Such raw depth and emotion......very dark.

[Just Cat]

I love the imagery and the descriptions in this piece. Vvery nice :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I love prose and always enjoy yours... a great mix of sexuality and spirituality.

[Adelia Alighieri]

Great imagery, well done.