Dear Brother,

My emotions threaten to consume me

Here I am again on the brink

A mother so abusive and controlling

I can never properly sleep

The feeling overtakes me

Every time I feel the gas-lighting

I shake and tremble and she takes my power

Trying to form my sense of reality

Even messing with my memories

How can I love someone so cruel?

How could I have seen her in so many other ways

How does she make me feel like I don't want to live another day?

I can't live another year like this

Or another moment

I only know I have to take it back

Everything she took

And convinces me to give her

When I'm alone I hear her voice in my head

Filling me,

Filling me,

With perpetual dread

I only have my brother

The only one I can trust

Even though we have bore such burdens

Along that winding road

We had to have a heart to heart

The hardest talk we've known

Of a brother and a sister

Who came to loathe instead of love

We found peace within this honesty

When the pain we spoke aloud

Over and over we talked of pain

Until it lost its power

Now we have each other

And yet we feel alone

As we both walk a road of independence

Trying desperately to reclaim our throne

Victims of abuse

Confused and contorted

Made not to see the damage

By the ones who want to remain unseen

How else can those with fear

Maintain their precious power

But take from others close to them

Before they can recognize

Before emotions turn sour

Brother,

Oh, Brother,

You don't know what you've done

You stood up to the only person left

The one who makes me long for death

You earned my trust

You gave me the most precious Christmas gift

One I never expected to receive

You stood up for me in a moment

When everyone expected you to agree

You stood up for me

Now I can wake from denial

And I can grieve

Because now,

I am not alone in the world

I don't have to make up stories

Of who I hoped she would be

Instead I can see what is in front of me

I can grieve

Because it doesn't really matter

That I don't have the illusion anymore

I only clung to it because you were with them

But now you are with me

And you stood up for me

Brother,

Dear Brother,

Now,

We have each other

Reviews

[Ookpik]

It's heartbreaking to read things like this - especially at Christmas.

I know it's a confessional, but I have a brother, and I'm familiar with the drowning sensation you've described here. All I can say, is that there's always more to it - I'd encourage you to read, as much as television seems to counterintuit (not a real word) the reading process, and I'd encourage you to think about classes: anything that pertains to the arts, creativity, or your own affinity with creative passions.

Tattooing is a beautiful artform, as is writing, and they can both make differences - either financially and personally.

All the best from a stranger, and merry Christmas from someone who doesn't know you at all.

-Ook

[StormeLight]

Thank you sweetie, I appreciate your heart felt message. My brother and I have forgiven each other and our relationship has been growing stronger. The person I am referencing in the poem is my mother and what him and I both have to go through together with her and because of her. And we both know why she is this way and beyond the anger it is devastating for both of us to lose both parents to cycles of abusive behavior that they refuse to break and heal from. But him standing up for me in front of her for the first time, was the most tragically beautiful thing that has ever happened in my life. I was bursting with emotion last night, and I am today too. I actually don't watch tv or movies. I mostly read books in my spare time. I also paint and write music and learn things to keep my mind busy. I've got all that covered =)

[Writergurl]

I am not alone in the world
I don't have to make up stories
Of who I hoped she would be
Instead I can see what is in front of me

I can relate to these words here, This is such an emotional read here. I can feel the sadness.

[StormeLight]

Thank you, I thought I was going to die of a broken heart last night, but I think I got enough of it out in this poem to save me. Reminds me of when Anna Nalick sings "2 am and I'm still awake writing a song, if I get it out on paper its no longer inside of me threatening the life it belongs to"