We can't

All this time you've been saying you'll come and see me but you never did. And I knew you never would until today. Because today you did.

When you ask me shall I turn I say of course you won't and you say, you know that I can and I say, yes you can but I don't want you to turn back. But today you did.

And you can't wait for me to finish with my work and come with you. I finally do and I can see it in your eyes that you are excited. I tell you that I have only half an hour before I have to leave and I immediately see the change in your face. Your face falls and asks me. Can't I drop you home today? I hesitantly agree asking myself why?! But I get in beside you and we cruise into the sunset.

We are oblivious to the cars passing us by and the noise around us even if we are looking straight ahead. We feel time has stopped. After a while you simply reach across and hold my hand and when I see the smile across your face I don't have the heart to refuse. You slowly start encircling patterns on my palm. We are hardly talking but strangely we feel at peace we don't feel uncomfortable with the deafening silence.

I slowly turn to you and ask what we are doing and you simply look ahead and answer me saying you don't know what this means but let's not think about that for now. Let's just enjoy the moment. But I can't I feel uncomfortable every passing second because this is only getting complicated and I tell you so. But you don't want to hear any of that. You say that nothing matters to you right now only me being there with him.

Finally it's time for us to part and he doesn't want to let go of my hand he's strengthening his hold on me and I feel him slowly putting his hand around me and holding me close and now it feels too much that I can't breadth he's taken my senses away all of it with his touch and I try to wriggle free. I don't want to look at him because I know too well that I'll break apart in front of him and I don't want to make him upset. I look away. But with his finger he turns my face to look at him and asks me gently "can we do this again"? I simply turn away and say "No" he want to know why? And I tell him "you know why" and I turn away and let go of his hand. He doesn't try to reach out, instead I see it rolling down his cheeks and everything around me comes crumbling down.
The end