Broken

Broken
You didn't want me,
that's not what you said but that's what you meant,
you always said that you would love me no matter what I do,
but at the first sign of trouble you send me away,
you never did perform like a mother should,
you would always say,
I love you,
but you never acted out that small important phrase.

Your a true southern woman,
the ones in all those books,
the kind of mother that wants two kids,
and a father who wraps you all together in a hug.

Adopted children have no place in your heart,
as a baby you could dream they were your own,
grown up and not looking like you the difference shows,
others down south ask you why,
every time you boast makes me wanna die,
because you spout lies to good people,
who know no different,
they just look at me with pity in their eyes,
and look at you like your a hero when it's oh so far from the truth.

You tell me to straighten up,
after you kidnapped me from my home up north,
ripped away from the only family I knew,
transported to a whole knew land I looked up to you,
I couldn't find you then and I still can't find you now,
as soon as that plane took off a different woman I saw,
when I thought I needed more of you up north,
in the south I wished you away,
and oh I prayed every night that it was a dream and that we'd stayed.

Everyone thinks of you as a saint that would never hurt her children,
but i'm not your child am I,
I am not of your blood so I do not count,
and since your family owns the whole god damned town,
when I showed them the bruises they shut me down,
told me to stop abusing myself,
and counseling you gave to me,
a nosy woman trying to discover all my secrets and my life,
the truth she never did believe.

My father who blamed me for your unnecessary kidnapping,
and ruining our family,
came down and tried to make it up to me,
our relationship will never be repaired,
but I relalized then that with you I was living in poverty,
while you behind our backs was living the life in reality,
so a lot of bitterness I did feel,
showing it just a little bit you noticed and revealed the truth to yourself.

In the end you got your wish,
for me to go back north and stay,
while you kill all my dogs and cats,
just because of the hate you feel coming your way,
you don't understand how hard it is,
knowing the one role model you had,
despises you to the core,
the one I called my mother has spoken,
leaving me terribly and utterly,
broken.