I see your face...

a short section about my feelings toward someone...

I move in this world not myself
Its as if i see my body moving around
but not in my control.
Even so I can still feel the pain.
I still feel the cuts and the burning sensations
Almost as if i am laying upon thousands of needles
But over my experiences,
I have learned not of pain in physical realization
but of pain in the hearts quake
Seeing one you love, love someone else
Seeing someone you once loved, love someone else
and dealing with the pain of the one you love,
loving you back, but without the ability to be with you.
The pain i feel of the cuts all over my body,
every bit of skin ripped off me,
the blood dripping down my legs just assures me.
It tells me that i am still standing.
I am still fighting.
Wether or not i realize it,
my heart has found a reason to push forward.
My body is broken and beaten
i come home every day,
to hours of ice, bandages, and medicine
only to get up the next morning and repeat it all.
I contemplate the possibilities endlessly,
and come across one reason.
Not a reason in words,
but one of a picture.
A picture of a face, the girl i love.
When i reach out to that picture,
distance keeps me from reaching it.
The same as in reality
one day i promise you, i will be there with you.
Side by side, hand in hand.
And through this time we spend apart,
we will in turn, be closer together.
And when the time comes
we will be forever after happy
i promise this, to you,
I love you

Reviews

[Lizanne]

The bitterly raw emotions of loving someone and not being able to reach out to them, even if it is just for a moment in which you get to laugh together over something silly or to open a door for her. Just having the pleasure of doing the little everyday things that say we are part of each others lifes. To be shut off and out of reach brings unbearable emotional pain, that tortures the body in such a way that the scars are not visible to the naked eye, but the raw "phantom' pain the body's soul suffers is so true to life that it mentally and physical drains the body. To have found love and not be able to just sit face to face and talk if as bitter as losing a love. Love does empower with the strength to continue through long and trying days. It will see you across the deepest valleys and help you climb to the highest peaks. And through it all your love will continue stronger. A very deep and thought provoking poem of love and the agonies that accompany it.

[Amara]

..... I 'm not good at critiquing poems but I like this one more because I feel this way now ...

[Voice11]

Very nice emotions.You put exactly how it is to watch someone you love, love another. the pain you feel everyday, signified by the cuts you try to heal every night. Good writing.

[Sseoni]

What an awesome poem! I really mean that! It was so powerful, raw, and emotional! Wonderful details and descriptions! And great use of wording and vocabulary! I really enjoyed reading this and found it to be fantastic! :D

[HPsGurl1]

Oh this is just so sad ... You're making me cry!!! Why all the negative-ness huh???

This poem wasn't original, but the words most definitely were. I loved how you said

"A picture of a face, the girl i love.
When i reach out to that picture,
distance keeps me from reaching it."

it was just so *yearning*, you know? It gave me that tug in the gut (lolz, tug-gut) that I get when I know two people are meant to be together.

Another part that was amazing was:

The pain i feel of the cuts all over my body,
every bit of skin ripped off me,
the blood dripping down my legs just assures me.
It tells me that i am still standing.
I am still fighting.
Wether or not i realize it,
my heart has found a reason to push forward.
My body is broken and beaten
i come home every day,
to hours of ice, bandages, and medicine
only to get up the next morning and repeat it all.


Really nice imagery and it also makes me feel as if it's become like an everyday job to you almost. Like you've gotten used to it but it still hurts you.

[Nae Nae]

Harsh, but yet I feel like i can really relate to it. The way you put it so many people would see this as gruisom but I see it as honest. This is fantastic.

Nae-Nae ...

[Free Writer]

Wow this is so deep, I love this. The words are so powerful. You did a fantastic job with this piece.

[House of Immite]

MEE LIKEEEE... you are such a negative person (look who's talking lol)...

ok.. time to get serious...
what i like about ur poem is the idea of the injured body... themed poems always interested me... thumbs up for that... i also like some of the phrases you used like "Seeing one you love, love someone else
Seeing someone you once loved, love someone else"... that was really good i think...

however... there's one thing about ur poem... even though it is themed... it is still unoriginal... many ppl have used this idea to describe the loss of someone... u cud've used this theme for sth no one has used b4.... or come up with new theme...

i give you outta 5
idea: 5
emotions: 4.5
originality: 3 :S
style: 5

Overall: 4.5... good job...

[qaralynn]

it's sad but also beautiful..i really love it

[J.R Schlievert]

ok, I love how you use a vocabulary, also it has brilliant pace. I loved it. you my friend, got talent.