Cosmic Darkness

Lost out here among the stars

Blackness all around

The earth is far behind me now

My heart the only sound.

 

The sun is gone forever

Only moonlight fills my eyes

I wander on, directionless

In a universe of lies.

Reviews

[Lynx]

Hmm, I love the dreamlike atmosphere of the poem in the first six lines, but I'm sorry that the last two lines kind'a kills the poem. It's like you're wondering in space, whatever, but then the last two lines feel like a sudden halt in the poem. Maybe it's just me, but maybe you could make the last part flow a little more. xD. But overall, a great poem tho, lolz.

[Cathy Wattam]

I really like this, but then I am a sucker for good rhyming poetry. I personally feel you've said enough here and by adding to it, you may end up taking something away.

Great job and I love the title :-)

[Susanna F]

I've had the two verses for years, and intended to add more to them. After a while it seemed that there was nothing to add...but maybe I should give it a shot.