Why Me?

There's a hidden feeling

a dark, cold, stabbing feeling

Kills me inside to know

What it really is.

Why me though? 

I feel angry and upset

When I close my eyes

I see visions that terrify me.

I can't sleep

even if I do, 

Its mystery dreams

leave me clueless.

Can it go away? 

So this horrible shadow

can just leave me

and let me be happy and be me.

the question is

               Why me?

Reviews

[ANTO]

if it has to exist at all Suvada - and you had the choice to have it taken from your shoulders (which are clearly big enough to bear it at the moment) - who would you wish it to be upon rather than you. We have a saying here that applies to all bullies 'If they are busy picking on me then they are leaving someone else alone."
I know in the worst times you wouldnt wish it upon your worst enemy - not if you really think about it - so as both previous reviewers have said - Why Not You?
It isnt that we dont have sympathy for your plight but a 'Why Me?' mindset is counter to healing, in my personal experience.
You have stirred many thought jars with your words Suvada
thank you

[Jerome F Knox III pseud..]

Sometimes self probing can be Pandora's box opening more questions and not providing answers. So here is a thought why not you ? Another good read

[Vishuddha]

Why not you? Surely you are as worthy as anyone. By now you ought to know life is a struggle, a fight, a fright. The horrible shadow is part of you. Its not going to leave and let you be happy. You have to Overcome it. Beat it at it's own game. Be happy anyway.

"Kills me inside" is a wonderful phrase. Keep writing. Fear nothing.

Maybe you could consider being more specific, or are you trying to accentuate the "mystery dreams" and "clueless" by not giving us more clues?

[Suvada]

I don't know maybe it just leaves me clueless where I couldn't really describe it you know. And thank you for the comment it makes me think a little more about it:)