Making Alpha proud

To never be the one
To never be accepted
Embraced
Counted as good enough

To never know the feeling
Of making him proud
Kills me inside

It's all I want
To be good enough
In his eyes
To earn his praise 
And make him proud

But I'll always be worthless
Never good enough 
Never fast enough
Never strong enough

I try so hard
To make him proud 
Happy
That I am his blood
But it never comes to pass

In his eyes
I'll always be a child
Weak
Ineffectual 
Ignorant
Useless 

So I continue to try
I push and push
Until I can't take anymore
And then I push myself further

But he doesn't see 
Or care
I'm just a weak little girl
Silly and stupid
Never worthy of his respect
Or faith
Or pride

So I continue to try

And I always will
Until the day I die