Falling Stars

Randomness about my view on Light and Darkness and a quick story about that instant when you realize you are in love.

I lived in the realm of Darkness and while its corruption sometimes instilled chaos, its protection was too comforting for me to resist. It’s confusing really, the concept of Light, Shadows, and Darkness. But the truth is quite interesting if you learn the reality of it all. To put it simply, there are places where love, hope, order, comfort, and beauty exists in everything. And there is a place where hatred, denial, corruption, fear and chaos exists in anything.

 In the realm of shadow there is chaos, but in the realms of Light and Darkness there is Beauty. Light and Darkness cannot coincide, for then shadows come into existence and nightmares evolve. 

To live in Light is to live in peace without knowing the world around you. It is beautiful but while I lived in it, I noticed its ignorance of those who were Lost, and I believe that those who embrace the Light, dismiss all those not in it. 

To live in Shadows is to know fear. To experience loss, self pity, thoughts of suicide, irrational emotions and for some; Death. 

To live in Darkness is to live in comfort while understanding that it is just as beautiful as the Light, only in a different kind of way. It is not evil, although many believe it to be, but it is not “Holy” as the Light claims to be. Darkness is a force that while it opposes Light, it is whole. That it is stable and protective of its inhabitants, It is full of unimaginable things, both Good and Bad. But then again, so is Light.

         I like to think of the world in this way; There is Darkness and there is Light, they oppose each other as different Realms, but they are complete and balanced in their existence. Then there is the place of Shadows, a place created in confusion found when one cannot distinguish between Light or Darkness. When that happens, one is Shadow Lost, and until one finds their way to either Realm, one will be in a state of isolation until they are consumed with fear that brings death. Or they are re-awakened into one realm, or the other, by way of a Recruiter. For there is potential in everyone to be apart of Darkness or of Light. You cannot exist in both, but until you embrace one or the other, you will constantly be tormented by Shadows. 

         Images of her plagued my mind ; Day and Night. Some unknown Angel of Insanity must have guarded my mind from being lost in the beauty of the Angel I saw falling from the sky. Her features were defined, yet soft. Her blonde hair highlighted the way her skin glowed in the moonlight. Completely contrasted by the black gown that flowed from her shoulders past her feet. The way she descended from the moon towards the earth with un-sounding grace was bewildering. 

She looked at the world and her mind was unbound by philosophy and all scientific laws. As she walked towards me in my dreams. Her black dress slightly ruffled as she reached the ground; but that sound was always the faintest, last sound I can recall. She walked towards as if suspended in air by some imaginary force. Held up, perhaps, by magnificent crimson wings that I could not see. As she got closer, I stood entranced by her hypnotic gaze. As those eyes that held a million stars within an eternity of darkness bid my soul farewell. 

And I willing watched it go. I caught my breath as she stopped in front of me - her hair, unbound, fell like caressing waterfalls around her angelic face. She unraveled every secret I’ve ever held, in an instant; and when she was done revealing my true essence, her gaze softened. The wind in turn changed from rage to endearment, gently sweeping at her garments and tossing her hair in playful display of affection. 

I can recall the scent of lilac mixed with the salty ocean breeze that beckons me still. Then I would begin to open my mouth to speak, only to be silenced by the touch of her hand. Silken skin ran from my ear, tracing my jaw line to rest under my chin. For what seemed like eternity, we stood there. I was captivated by the true essence of the stars. I stood there willingly imprisoned by her touch and she rendered me human less.

 And then, as if to answer the human that once lived in my soulless body. I would have an idea distract me from the Darkness itself. However seductive this woman may be, and how I eagerly withdrew my life for the moment and sight of her. I wanted something in return. 

When my gaze wavered and I regained my ground as an individual in the presence of an Angel. I reached out and pulled her into my arms and kissed her. Without regard to punishment, unable to experience fear, I took back my soul from the Darkness to experience Light once more. 

The problem was, in my dream, I turned the tables and became the moon in order to be apart of the stars. Giving up my life as I am, to be with her. I have no doubt, that as a part of darkness herself, she could have stopped it. But she didn’t. She showed surprise in her eyes, but she did not fight the pull of her body towards mine. And when the world eneded with that kiss, she did not pull away. She embraced me and my new place in time. 

Then I awake. What happens next I always ask. Does she reprimand me for my assault, or does she kiss me back? When the dream ends and the sun rises, I feel empty. But as the night sky falls down around me and the stars ever increasingly return, I am instilled with hope. It is not a message, or a warning; It’s the past. It’s a metaphor for my life and my existence. For I have found that Falling Angel who captivates me in my dreams. She is human in this life, yet somehow we are both immortal. Every time I kiss her, the world is destroyed and I am in an alternate existence filled with her beautiful stars. There is a crescent moon, in the blackest sky that radiates untainted light. When I stare at that sky, it starts over; and I see her descending towards me once again..  : Just another star in a never ending sky.