My Brother and the Bees

How my brother "helped" me escape a wasp hive

Tim Buckley

©2013

My Brother and the Bees

 

 My Brother and the Bees

 

My brother Chris and I had just finished our 150 home paper route.  Being hot, on our way home we decided to cut through the woods for the shade.  As we walked along, I noticed a silver gleam in the tall grass.  It was a handle bar from a bike; why, maybe the whole bike was buried!  I had to find out, and tugged at the handlebar like a big fish against a fishing pole. What I didn't know, was, that with each pull, I jabbed into an underground nest of aggressive, angry, yellow jacket wasps.

As I stood up, I felt skin pricks and looked down expecting to see an animal with thin, piranha teeth, who liked to bite skinny legs.  Instead, my eyes got as big as car headlights upon seeing both legs covered with angry yellow jackets.  While I had been busy yanking on the handlebars, I had failed to notice them shooting from a nest directly under my feet.  Now, a solid yellow stream flowed from the nest's entrance to my pants.  My blue jeans were a gold battleground; I could almost hear them yell, “Kill the trespasser!”  And, unlike honeybees that sting once and die, these had machine gun stings�"striking over and over without pause.

I cried to Chris for help and walked towards him like a robot, arms and legs stiff in hopes my baggy clothes would minimize the stings.  By now, a wasp squadron swarmed my head, flying crazily and erratic, and I like a lone enemy flying an airplane amidst a squad of P-51 Mustangs.  Chris ran, only hesitating when I threatened him with a fate worse than bees. Stopping, he picked up a large piece of wood--a two-by- four--and inched his way towards me.

Thinking he would scrape the bees off me with an up and down motion, I willingly offered my body.  Instead, he began beating me as if I was an attacking rapist.  Now in more pain than just stings, I ran, tearing my clothes off as I went,  oblivious to anything other than my brother and the bees. I sprinted the mile home clad only in underwear.  Women covered children's eyes, men pointed and laughed.  I arrived home totally defamed, with more lumps than my mattress had.

Well, I survived; however, Chris never asks me to help him with projects anymore.  Because, when he does, I run off to find a two-by-four.

Reviews

[Marie]

Goodness. I've been stung by yellowjackets and bees before, but nothing like this. A funny, exciting story.
You have a common problem here: all your dashes come out as quote marks. his is due to W/C formatting when you past text from Word. I usually go back through my pieces and fixt this after I post.

In the first stntence of the last paragraph, I would leave off the "Well," saying "I survived, however." The "well" seems redundant.