Rudolph Was WHAT?

Did you happen to notice

That last year Santa's sleigh

Was missing an important

Figure, by the way?

 

Let's see: Comet and Vixen

Along with Cupid and Prancer

Were there, and so were Donner,

Dasher, Blitzen, and Dancer.

 

Which reindeer was missing?

Rudolph? Ah, you guessed it.

The news was out there, but

The media had suppressed it.

 

(Because of frequent fog,

Santa was being sensible

In counting on dear Rudolph,

Who had become indispensable.)

 

It all started like this:

On the morning of Christmas Eve,

Rudolph was tired from having

Been on the qui vive

 

For sneaky present robbers

All the previous night.

By noon, poor ol' Rudolph

Looked a sorry sight.

 

To perk himself up a bit--

The "where" is still unclear--

He dipped into a little

Too much Christmas "cheer."

 

Now I don't know about you,

But Rudolph's nose would flicker

Whenever he drank wine

Or any other liquor.

 

When the team of reindeer

Lined up, Santa could tell

That sleigh-guiding Rudolph

Wasn't doing so well.

 

Needless to say, Santa

Really got a whiff

When he approached his friend

And took a little sniff.

 

"I can tell, dear Rudolph,

That you've been making merry.

Did you turn your eggnog

Into a Tom and Jerry?"

 

"I think--hiccup!--a little,"

Said Rudolph with a blush.

"Go to bed," said Santa.

"We are in a rush."

 

That night Santa was forced--

Although he felt remorseful--

To use toys with lights

To guide him. How resourceful!

 

So last year if the batteries

To your toys were run down,

Causing disappointment

And many a tear and frown,

 

Don't feel so sad.

They went to a good cause:

They helped to distribute

Gifts from Santa Claus.

 

Regarding this year, I

Don't want to keep you guessin':

Rudolph's back in service.

I think he learned his lesson.

 

But some say Santa's considering--

Despite objections and moans--

Future gift deliveries

With the use of Amazon's drones.

 

(12-13-15)