Chapter 7

We showered and changed as Malik and his five servants set up the feast.  I pulled out my celebration clothes I'd bought earlier this week with Ezra.  There was a black corset lined with vertical bright red stripes and a fold skirt that reached just above my knees.  Ezra had bought herself a light green strapless dress with a pearl studded bodice and a skirt that she'd cut up to the knees and slit on the sides.  She let her hair down and parted it on the side.  I left mine down as well, parted on the side with simple loose braids placed randomly throughout.  I put both of Ezra's raven feathers in the braids close to the front.  

At the feast, Malik made a toast to his now graduated assassins.  Adonijah kept looking at me from the end of the table.  He looked handsome despite the bruises and cuts on his face.  He wore a black shirt and loose pants.  His hair was trimmed up a little and his smile was as charming as ever.  

Kadir left quietly after the feast.  Malik left as well to see the Assassins off for their yearly leave and to allow us to celebrate however we like.  Part of me was tempted to let Kadir be but, the other part of me was begging me to go after him.  

I danced with the other assassins for awhile, drinking wine and twirling around with Ezra.  Half the time I danced with a goblet of wine in one hand.  I did this every time there was a graduation party.  But, I knew when to stop with the wine.  As soon as the edges of my vision started blurring, I set my goblet down and never picked it back up.  

It was at that very moment that Adonijah came up behind me, twirling my pale blond hair between his fingers.  He slipped one arm around my waist.  "You look deadly beautiful tonight." he whispered.

I bit my lower lip, smiling.  "You noticed."

"Of course.  You're always beautiful.  Even today when you were all sweaty and bruised." Adonijah chuckled.

I turned around. "Oh, shut up." I smacked his cheek playfully. 

He smiled. "Dance with me." 

"Okay." I said, letting him pull me away.

We danced for a long time before we slowed down to simple swaying.  Adonijah put his face in my neck.  I could feel his breath moving my hair and warming my neck.  "I want to kiss you, Iris." he whispered almost inaudibly.

I pulled back and looked at him.  "You're joking, right?"

He shook his head.  "I've wanted to for a long time.  I just never said anything because I wasn't sure how you'd react."

"Uh-huh.  Okay." I said, suddenly awkward.

He rested his hand on my shoulder again, pressing a gentle kiss to my cheek.

I pulled away from Adonijah a few minutes later and left the party in search of Kadir.  No one had seen him since the feast and I had finally decided I wanted to talk to him about the tests.  I roamed the polished halls around the training rooms and listened, knowing that he'd likely be in one of them since he'd done so badly against me today. 

I heard exhausted breaths and thumping in one of the rooms to my right.  I entered to find Kadir with his back to me, punching a dummy.  As I'd predicted, he had cut off his hair.  It was now close cut around his head.  Shorter than Malik's.  Not even spiky.  Just short.  No one could ever grab his hair now.  

Shafts of moonlight filtered through the windows on the far side of the room., illuminating his bare, muscular back.  Several large scars lined his back in different directions.  We all had scars here in Malik's home.  None were like those.  Ours were rarely ever so ugly or large.  Ours healed into neat white lines no larger than a finger usually.  

"Where'd you get those?" I asked aloud.  

Kadir stopped practicing, turned, and looked at me, fists still clenched.  "What?"

"Those big scars on your back.  I've never seen anyone with scars like those." I said leaning casually against the doorjamb.  

A muscle in his jaw twitched.  He moved to a table on the left side of the room, unwrapping his hands.  "It's none of your business."

I shrugged nonchalantly.  "Why aren't you celebrating?"

"I'm not much of a dancer or drinker." he said. 

I chuckled.  "Every man has a love for alcohol in him.  It pairs well with his love for women and blood." 

"I have no love for any of that bullshit, Iris." he snapped.

"You don't love women?  What do you love, then?" I asked coming closer.

Kadir slammed his fist on the table, hanging his head.  He didn't answer for a long time.  "The only woman I ever loved was my mother.  The only other thing I love is archery." he answered, his voice quiet.  "Are you done asking questions now?"

"No." I raised my eyebrows, not caring much for the tone of his voice. "If you had a mother that you loved, then how did you end up here?"
He sighed so deeply, it almost sounded like a growl.  Then, he turned to me.  I was about a foot away from him.  "She died an extremely slow, painful death, leaving me to live a very painful and lonely childhood until Malik saved me." 

I narrowed my eyes.  "I don't get it." I was trying to imagine his story, but there were too many missing pieces for me to understand anything.

Kadir lowered his eyes, dipping his chin slightly.  "My mother was raped a few years before she died." He paused for a moment.  "I am the product of that.  I was born in the labor camp she was living in.  I lived there for eight years, being beaten every time she was beaten...every time one of the women who too care of me in my mother's place was beaten....  I took those beatings willingly for those women.  I didn't love them.  I knew they didn't love me.  They cared for me because I was a child.  If I survived to become strong, I would be their hope for escape.  So, I only took those beatings as a repayment for their care."  Kadir looked up at me, his blue eyes dark in the minimal lighting.  

"The day Malik saved me, I was fighting one of the overseers who was trying to beat and rape one of the women who'd been taking care of me."  he went on.

"So..." My mind felt slow.  Someone came from worse than I had.  I didn't know that women in labor camps were raped and allowed to have the baby.  I didn't even understand how it was possible to survive nine months carrying a child inside you as you worked in a labor camp where there were such poor conditions.  I would think the woman and the child would eventually die or the baby would have been cut out.  Then, there was the thought of having to take care of a baby well enough that it would survive to be a person.

"So...what?" he asked coolly.

"Why not celebrate this accomplishment?  You came farther than her.  You've grown into a strong, capable person.  You could go back to that labor camp and kill the man who raped her or even stop the camp all together so no one ever has to go through the same pain ever again.  Imagine how your mother would feel knowing that you have come so far." I told him.

"Coming in second to a girl in tests of strength, accuracy, and agility isn't a big accomplishment for a man.  Coming in first in those tests, beating men, that's something for you to celebrate.  I didn't do that.  Therefore, I need to practice more.  I need to be stronger and better than you before I can celebrate." Kadir said.  "Why come and find me, Ravenheart?"  He rolled his eyes as he said my name.

"Second place is not losing, Bowshade." I replied. "I came to find you because I wanted to make amends.  I knew you were angry about me beating you.  I knew you'd slice all your hair off and I knew you'd come here to practice and beat yourself up."

"I'll tell you straight up that you aren't getting anywhere." he grumbled, smiling slightly. 

I rolled my eyes and took his hand.  It was warm and callused from handling weapons.  I tried to pull him away from the table.  He didn't budge.

"What're you doing, Iris?" he asked, sounding bored.

"Dance with me." I said.

"No." he replied bluntly.

"Enjoy yourself for once." I insisted, pulling harder.

Kadir hardly moved an inch.  He simply watched me with amusement at my struggles. Then, he pulled me toward him, making me stumble and nearly fall on him.  "You smell like wine.  How much have you had?" he asked, his eyes roaming over me.

"I'm not drunk, if that's what you're implying." I replied.

Kadir laughed inwardly. "Why the feathers in your hair now?" He touched one of the raven feathers in my braids.

"Ezra gave them to me.  It's another representation of my name." I explained.
He gave a little "hmph".  "Why the corset?" he asked.

"Are you going to sit here asking me questions or are you going to dance with me?" I asked him exasperatedly.

"I'm thinking about it." he told me calmly. "Why the corset?" 

I sighed dramatically. "What's wrong with dressing up?"

"It's basically an undergarment.  You realize that, right?" Kadir chuckled.

"But, I look good, don't I?" I raised my eyebrows.

"No." he replied bluntly.

"Good thing I'm not out to impress you." I wrinkled my nose.

Kadir chuckled again.  "Who are  you out to impress then?  Adonijah?" 

"NO!" I said too quickly.

"Really?" he raised his eyebrows.
"What makes you think I'd want to impress him or anyone here?"
"Everyone has seen you and him winking and smiling at each other during the tests.  Everyone's watched how close you two were, growing up.  How could anyone not think you'd want him?" Kadir looked at me with his eyebrows still raised.

"He's my friend!" I said defensively, stamping my foot. 

"You can lower your voice any time now."

I rolled my eyes.  "I don't want him.  I never did.  Even if I did want him, why would I tell you?" 

"You have a point." Kadir admitted.

We fell silent for a moment.

"You want to make amends with me?" he asked, looking at his hands.
"Yeah." I replied, tilting my head to one side.

"Help me fix the faults in my fighting." Kadir looked at me.

"Tomorrow." I said.  "Tomorrow night.  Here.  After dinner."

"Why not now?" he lowered his eyebrows.

"Because, you're going to dance with me now.  Because, I'm very slightly drunk right now."

He laughed.

When I say he laughed.  I mean, he actually did a full-out laugh.  Not a soft one.  Not a chuckle.  Not a little "hmph" or whatever.  He actually laughed and it transformed his face.  Kadir's face was almost always slightly sad, but laughing,...his face was completely different and utterly gorgeous.  I took his hand again and passed him his shirt which had been laying on the floor.  He put it on and let me take him back to the party.

When we got there, I handed him a bottle of wine.  He curled his lip slightly.  I raised my eyebrows pointedly and nodded for him to drink.  "You are one crazy woman." Kadir said, taking a swig from the bottle.  "You're welcome." I winked, biting my lower lip. 

I pulled him toward me and he whispered in my ear, "Don't forget to meet me tomorrow night."

"I won't." I whispered back.

"One more thing." he said.

"Yes." 

He took a moment to reply. "Your corset's been letting your chest slip out all night.  You're about two seconds from giving everyone a show."  Kadir leaned forward as he said it, making it look like he was about to lean his head on my shoulder, and carefully slid my corset up to cover my chest better.  While we slow danced, he tied my corset tighter so no one would notice.

Kadir danced with me the rest of the night, hardly speaking to me.

At two a.m. the party ended like always.  He walked me to my room, his shirt unbuttoned halfway, his newly cut hair a little spiky.  He moved to push his hair back out of habit and I chuckled.  Kadir smiled in return.  When we reached my door, we both stopped.  I was already undoing my braids and loosening my corset.  Kadir simply watched as though he was waiting for my corset to slip down.  

"Is this the part where you kiss me good night and turn it into something more?" I teased.  

He gave me a bored look.  "You're funny."

"Then, what are you waiting for?" I asked.

He sighed.  "Good night, Iris." 

"Good night, Kadir." I turned toward my door.  

"Thank you for showing me how to have a good time." he added.

I looked back at him with a grin and dropped a wink.  "Any time."

Kadir smiled and walked down the hall toward his room.