He Took the Checkered Flag

From the book Insane, Stupid, and Unbelievable. (Part I)

  “Drivers start your engines”

                                                                                             

       

        Well it seems that when Tyrone woke-up that morning, he had a dire need for speed --- so when he set-out to go to the liquor store later that afternoon, that’s when he spotted the object of his affection.

It was a sporty-looking red Camero Z28, but only it was being driven by another patron, who also happened to be making a pit stop at this same liquor store, located on Green bay and Hampton Avenue --- and it was in that instant where Ronnie became a thug in training, as he took it upon his-self to approach this unsuspecting driver, and without warning forcibly pulling him from behind the wheel of his sleek and sporty street rod, where Ronnie then jumped in; in his place and peeled off in his new set of wheels, leaving only a trail of white plumed smoke that filled the entire intersection coming from the spinning of his tires.

        Where on this day in question, it just so-happens, that a first day on the job rookie police officer by the name of Andretti, who was no relation to the famed racing car driver, sat in his squad car posted-up on the southwest corner facing north on Green bay and Hampton avenue, as he was on the lookout for speeders.

When like a bolt of lightning from out of nowhere, it was Tyrone the neighborhood thug in training turned carjacker in his newly acquired sports car that blew right past the rookie officer’s position at an accelerated rate of speed --- where needless to say, it was now the rookie officer Andretti, who pulled out in challenge of the unknown speeding suspect.

        Now headed east on Hampton ave. thru Lincoln park’s winding snake road with his siren blaring, and his blue and red lights flashing, the rookie officer Andretti, called-in his situation to inform dispatch about an unidentified speeding driver refusing to pull his vehicle over; only to be informed that his description of the said pursuant vehicle matched a reported car-jacking just moments ago, of that same said Z28 red Camero that the rookie officer Andretti was now in hot pursuit-of.

        Well not one to be outdone on his first day on the job, the rookie officer Andretti gave chase onto the northbound freeway on-ramp.

Where it was after a 12 minute chase on the I-43 south freeway just outside of Oak Creek on a deserted back-stretch of road just behind highway K in Racine County, was where a squad of officers finally converge on Tyrone the thug in training, turned carjacker, now felony evader as his vehicle spat small pebbles and spewing dirt causing the pursuing squads cars to become covered inside of a cloud of dust that now engulfed the pursuing officers field of vision, yet they continued to pour-it-on down this deserted stretch of road as they approached what appeared to be the end of the line; where only an 8ft. fence stretched across the open field separated them from capturing their suspect, and thereby finally closing the chapter on Tyrone’s short lived life of crime.

        But Tyrone the neighborhood thug, turned carjacker, felony evader, had other ideas, and without slowing down floored it; crashing through the wooden fence all-the-while with the rookie officer Andretti leading the pack hot on his tail in close pursuit.

Where it was just on the other-side of the fence where Tyrone the neighborhood thug in training, carjacker, felony evader now found himself among a swarm of other cars traveling at the same high rate of speed as he was. And as they all drove in a clouded field of vision, which made it all that much-more harder for the rookie officer as well as his fellow officers to keep up the pace with him, let alone able to see clearly.

        But what Tyrone the gate crasher failed to realize as he drove in a stealth-like concealment among the rest of the drivers that drove around him, as he now easily left the perusing rookie officer Andretti literally eating his dust; was that he was now in the middle of a road rally car race, and as the team of drivers continued to circle the track, where it was now Tyrone the neighborhood thug in training , carjacker, felony evader, now unofficial racing car driver, who suddenly began to pull away from the rest of the pack.

        Now thinking that he'd lost the vigilant pursuing officer, who along with his other fellow pursuing officers only parked their squad cars, and had a seat in the grandstands, as they and the cheering crowd watched as the Tyrone finished the race, and taking the checkered flag.

        And after the race was over Tyrone the man who woke up that morning with a need for speed was immediately arrested, saying how he thought that he had left the pursuing officers at least ten miles back, and that he had no idea that he'd actually entered a road rally car race, where not even the continuous left turns gave it away.