My burden.

           My name is Erin. To my mother, Kristin and friend’s I am explained as a bubbly and outgoing individual that has no struggles and is flying through school but, many don’t know that I am holding in a secret that is eating me and it could essentially break my family apart. I have seen something that has created a burden that I have attempted to be rid of but it is always stuck on my brain it... Just. Wont. Leave.

Drugs have always been a part of my life, I have always been surrounded by it. The drugs have affected me on so many levels but the thing is the needle has never touched my skin, it’s injected into me when I see others using, leading to my own pain as I ache for them to quit. I have seen the needle penetrate my loved one’s skin and seen the instant “Relief” in their eyes and the light darkening in their soul. The drugs are a secret that I can’t tell about because the moment I release the burden to the world I will lose him and I am not strong enough to be alone and living off the feelings in my soul. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so selfish and told someone about it because then there was a call and everything went silent. My life went dark. He was gone. It was gone.  My biggest burden was gone and I missed it.

With this burden being missing I am now left with a piece of my heart missing. There are
hundreds maybe thousands of people suffering just like me yet I feel so alone in this situation,
Why? I don’t know. Being so young probably didn’t help. I thought it was my fault, it was my
fault. If I would have been home he would have been fine, he would have lived, He would still be
my burden. I wouldn’t have to talk to a box of what used to be him. What I can say is that my strength is growing each day and I am becoming a better me, Not because I feel I need to be but, because of my burden. He has made me stronger and a better person, I thank him for everything that has changed in my life since he left and left the imprint on my heart. I still cry, scream and breakdown but then I think of what had changed since he left. I, Erin am a changed person because of my burden, I wake up feeling more important and that I am beautiful and that all will be okay in the end. He, My burden may not be here physically but I am living on for him. I am missing my burden but at the same time the drugs are no longer his burden.