Tell Me Now

popped into my head yesterday and made me so scared i fell asleep faster than i probably ever have

When I suddenly looked into their eyes, I saw such happiness and joy and it overwhelmed me.

I was looking at the paper, at the computer screen, and at the table. Suddenly there was nothing inside me but this deep, horrifying dread. It wasn't a panic attack, I realized that there was just this intense concern and horror at the thought that I might be all by myself. That I was the only one here and everything was just passerby or a figment of my imagination.

I couldn't understand how it was possible, how I could be the only one here. Would there be an end and that was it? Nothing else to it besides the end and just...nothingness? Would there even be nothingness?

I can never see myself getting, much less being, old. I don't see myself being an old and wrinkly little thing that had children or didn't have children or having grandchildren or a family of any kind really. I don't see myself being into anything, doing anything special, because nothing about this world seems special anymore.

The dread came over me and absolutely covered me and I thought my own heart that was pumping the life into my body would just stop because there didn't seem to be any reason to go on.

I then thought of The One that the people around me now talk so much about. Apparenly He is the ending and there is no ending unless He deems so. It surprised me that there was a slight calm that came over me but I still worried for my own self and being that the dread didn't go away very easily.

I fell asleep so fast after these thoughts that I don't know if the dread is ever going to be gone.

Author's Note

:p

Reviews

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the few days i actually get on and i find you wrote something! so of course I looked... have ALOT to say about this but knowing me i'll just go paranoid again sooo this much i'll say xp- that just freakin' scared me!
I've had similar thoughts since I was kid, but everyone has those days don't they? Just know your not alone, i'm sure there's alot of people with that thought in the back of their mind...